This I find really annoying. My 82 yr old Dad has Dementia - he had a brain scan first just in case his memory loss was due to a tumour etc etc and then diagnosed. There are drugs that can help in the early stages. Like what is the GP and the NH just throwing him on the scrap heap.like we wanted to do our best for Dad and that included any help we could get for him.its v v uncaring of his Gp to treat him and his family like this ( sorry)

I have power of attorney for an elderly relative, well even more elderly than me, she went through all the tests. All they could tell me at the end was that she had atypical presentation. About 5 years later without any further tests they said she had Alzheimers.

Ultimately it probably wouldn't change his care much if thr nursing home are managing him well. If he's frequently on abx thr picture won't be clear.
It's not said to be unkind, it just means he's receiving the care he needs and if / when he settles a diagnosis could be sought.

As he is already in a nursing home I assume he's already frail and/or ill?

I can see where they are coming from. Unfortunately there is very little in the way of treatment for dementia - there are some medications that can be given in early Alzheimers but I don't know how effective they are (the impression I get is not very/not known); for other dementias there is nothing that I know of (I am not a medic).

If he does have dementia then his capacity to make decisions for himself will diminish over time, so it might be helpful to make sure you have POA in place and his wishes for his future are known.

Dementia diagnosis did help PIL - he had become angry about his confusion; knowing it was dementia calmed him down. It also made it possible for us to stop him driving (which is a whole different story) and to step in with things like insurance and banking. But he is living at home with MIL and is physically in not bad shape.

Isn't it important to know these things for the genetics/ family's medical history side of things so that future generations can be aware and proactive if prevention's possible? Just my thought...

My mother’s gp was terrible, I was positive my mum had dementia but they were absolutely no help at all. It seemed like her dementia got worse day by day, it was like a runaway train. Once I’d put in a formal complaint, suddenly they were helpful. She had had several brain scans in the years before her official diagnosis due to her having falls and being on warfarin. Once she’d been referred to the memory clinic they were able to access her brain scans and saw that she had had dementia for 2 years. They put her on medication and “ the runaway train” slowed massively. Obviously she wasn’t going to improve but had she got the medication when I first requested help she may have been able to live independently for longer . Definitely request it, it can’t possibly hurt but it could make a huge difference st slowing this terrible illness down.

Not all forms of dementia can be medicated. I do wonder about whether medication just prolongs the inevitable and who benefits long term. My father has vascular dementia so no drugs for this one.

This. After thirty years of nursing I'm not always convinced medication is always the right way to go, although quality of life is a very subjective thing.

My DF has Lewy Body Dementia, the hallucinations and paranoia are the hardest aspect to deal with, he would become very distressed and frightened, the meds prescribed following the diagnosis have made a huge improvement. Although still really confused most of the time he is not often distressed anymore.

The tests aren't the nicest for someone who is already confused to go through. And the medications are usually sedatives which they can prescribe without the diagnosis if he is agitated/distressed. I've also been a nurse for years and I wouldn't put my own Mum through tests for something like that if she was already requiring nursing care.

My mother has Alzheimers-- she went from thinking people were reading her mind, hallucinating and walking round with her eyes shut, to being pretty much herself again, albeit forgetful. The medication Donezepil was nothing short of a miracle. We know it won't last forever but the diagnosis and medication has given her back to us and to herself, for now. I know it isn't the same for every situation but it seems daft for them to say diagnosis won't matter at all.

I am in the unhappy position of having both parents having dementia. My dad had a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. My mum doesn’t have a diagnosis. Neither has had any treatment for the dementia & the care they’ve received has been according to their needs & not related to the diagnosis/lack of diagnosis.

Similar situation to @Rattysparklebum . DFIL has Lewy Body Dementia, and at one point was having a lot of quite unpleasant paranoia and delusions - he wasn't quite sure who was who (including his wife), and he became worried that people were trying to steal from him. The medication won't ever take the dementia away, but it did pretty much stop the delusions - he's now more gently confused than paranoid.

He will need to be free of infection before he can be seen to ensure that he isn't experiencing delirium which can cause hallucinations and delusions.
Medication is only generally used for Alzheimer's and has a very modest effect and is not without side effects. If he is very frail then it may cause more harm than good. (Nausea, drowsiness, falls etc)
If he is getting all the care he needs at the home and they are managing well then it is unlikely that a diagnosis will change the care he is receiving and it may cause more stress for him to go through memory tests and scans.

This

I've never seen any medication which really helped with severe dementia, OP.
If your father is already bad enough to be in a nursing home I would gently suggest that a diagnosis will not make any difference to him or to the care he receives.
You're quite right that agreeing with whatever he says is the best way forward.

I know FIL takes rivastigmine, but I'm not quite sure about others, sorry. He's still at the mild stage, though edging into moderate now, so I don't know if the reaction to meds is different.
The NHS website has some info on the usual meds for Lewy Body Dementia. NB another reason for seeking a diagnosis is that some meds that are used to treat hallucinations are particularly dangerous for people with LBD.

Yes, there is all this info online saying see your doctor, get tested - especially on MN when someone mentions elderly relatives. But my DB had dementia and Parkinsons and the GP wasn't interested until v severe and psychiatrist did tests.
But in the long run possibly it makes little difference as medication is not a cure.
It does mean the DVLA step in once dementia diagnosed though not physically so it is still up to relatives to stop the driving.
The public are being mislead imv as to what can be done.

I think it can make a difference for someone in the early stage living at home . I pushed for diagnosis for my mum. She was prescribed medication but they told us that the medication only worked for Alzheimer's and not for vascular dementia . Mum's scan showed up that she actually had vascular dementia, but given her medical history (no cardio-vascular problems) they went for a diagnosis of 'mixed dementia' and prescribed the medication .

In mum's case, the diagnosis meant that we could access support groups, an activities session for mum and regular check ins with her consultant and dementia nurse . The diagnosis also helped with claiming attendance allowance .

I think we may have been lucky in the services which were available in mum's local area as I don't think this much is available nationally - and in addition some support groups which were charity based have gone during Covid .

I can sort of see the point of view of the OP's parent's care home though that they will be providing appropriate care and activities to her father anyway and my understanding is that the medication is only effective in the early stages.

Reading a bit more of this thread about the Lewy Body dementia - these symptoms sound very much like what my father had - his diagnosis was given of vascular dementia due to his medical history but retrospectively I wonder if this is what he had - his symptoms advanced quite quickly and he was already quite unwell when I referred him for the diagnosis - different situation to my mum .

Apologies for long post! I'm sorry that they aren't managing well with his delusions, you are right, the best strategy is to redirect and not to argue.
There are a number of reasons he may be experiencing delusions and hallucinations, delirium being one of them (I wouldn't jump straight to Lewy Body Dementia) This can be caused by UTIs, constipation, pain etc. So number one priority is ensuring he is physically well.
Next make sure his environment minimises confusion and distress eg plenty of light, signage, orientation clock, hearing aids, glasses etc.
Activities, I know this is difficult if they are short staffed). Even just having a memory box for him to look through while the staff are busy.
The last option should be medication (I am talking Lorazepam NOT memory enhancers which are completely different). These will only be given if a person is really distressed and all other options are explored. Even then it may not be suitable due to risk of falls.
Maybe getting a diagnosis could be explored again once they have ruled out delirium but the main thing is making sure dad is comfortable and happy. Either way the home should work with you to help him with any distressing behaviour.