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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Original poster

Dementia behaviours

10 replies

Eleanor6 · 23/12/2022 23:29

Hi there,
My mum has complex medical problems, dementia diabetes MS benign brain tumour and other issues. As a result of her neuro problems we were never sure re her dementia diagnosis. She is in a nursing home for 3 years, during her first year she went through a horrible stage of being very flirtatious and acquired a male friend who also had a diagnosis, mum was very inappropriate and they had to be observed and kept separate as there was worry that their behaviour could turn sexual. It was awful but thankfully passed, her dementia has progressed slowly and now she is in a dementia unit, immobile and deteriorating and sleeping a lot. In the last few weeks she has gotten more lively and last week she was observed kissing another resident and is in love apparently. She told me today she was on date last night with her man, the staff are watching and keeping an eye but I feel deeply uncomfortable about this and am sad that this happening. Anyone being through similar, does it pass?
Thanks

OP posts:
Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 24/12/2022 00:01

Hi OP, I didn’t want to read and tunas my DM died with dementia, albeit didn’t display the behaviour you mention. It’s shit.

TBH, I would have been happy to see my DM getting some last enjoyment even if it is just the dementia ‘talking’. I am honestly not sure why you are concerned unless her DH is still around and upset by her behaviour.

Original poster
Eleanor6 · 24/12/2022 00:09

Thanks for your reply, I am upset I suppose because it’s the complete opposite of her personality, she was a very reserved person and not very tactile at all, there is nothing left of her and I am happy that she has a spark back but it’s not her at all. My dad has passed away and she has forgotten him completely. She is like a stranger. Sorry about your mum.

OP posts:
Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 24/12/2022 00:20

Ah OP, I understand why you’re upset, it’s not her specific behaviour it’s that you have lost the person she was, that’s hard. I am afraid dementia is horrible, I don’t think my Mum had any idea who I was, especially as it was Covid times and we had to wear masks to see her. I found some comfort in the fact that she didn’t appear to be suffering mentally from her situation and perhaps that is the best comfort I can offer you, your Mum is getting a last little spark from life.

Original poster
Eleanor6 · 24/12/2022 00:26

Yep I think that’s it actually, your words have really helped. I am sorry for your loss and during covid as well.

OP posts:
Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 24/12/2022 00:38

💐 x

orangetriangle · 27/12/2022 22:13

my mum has dementia and it can unfortunately make them say or do inappropriate things . Dementia can make them lose their inhibitions and become a completely different person and or it can make them violent and aggressive dementia is grim

Original poster
Eleanor6 · 28/12/2022 22:01

Thanks for the reply Orangetriangle, dementia is pretty grim.

OP posts:
Emdubz · 28/12/2022 22:05

Eleanor6 · 23/12/2022 23:29

Hi there,
My mum has complex medical problems, dementia diabetes MS benign brain tumour and other issues. As a result of her neuro problems we were never sure re her dementia diagnosis. She is in a nursing home for 3 years, during her first year she went through a horrible stage of being very flirtatious and acquired a male friend who also had a diagnosis, mum was very inappropriate and they had to be observed and kept separate as there was worry that their behaviour could turn sexual. It was awful but thankfully passed, her dementia has progressed slowly and now she is in a dementia unit, immobile and deteriorating and sleeping a lot. In the last few weeks she has gotten more lively and last week she was observed kissing another resident and is in love apparently. She told me today she was on date last night with her man, the staff are watching and keeping an eye but I feel deeply uncomfortable about this and am sad that this happening. Anyone being through similar, does it pass?
Thanks

My colleague’s mum did similar; became very inappropriate and swore terribly when she never used to swear. He always said she would be mortified as it was so unlike her true personality but was told this can be quite typical and comes and goes. Sorry you are experiencing this, it’s such a cruel disease x

Original poster
Eleanor6 · 30/12/2022 00:05

Emdubz, thanks for your reply, it’s very helpful to hear other people’s experience. She is very settled again and very quiet, poor mum, it’s so heartbreaking.

OP posts:
Emdubz · 30/12/2022 09:36

Eleanor6 · 30/12/2022 00:05

Emdubz, thanks for your reply, it’s very helpful to hear other people’s experience. She is very settled again and very quiet, poor mum, it’s so heartbreaking.

It is heartbreaking; I have a family member with early onset dementia and know things will get progressively worse. It’s so cruel and debilitating. Hugs to you x

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