Talking about upsetting things from the past

[Chesure]

DM and DF divorced late in life (his decision not hers). She is in a new care home and has started mentioning he's being doing things around the home. Little DIY jobs he used to do. She hasn't mentioned him in quite a long time and he absolutely definitely hasn't been doing these things (he doesn't even know or care where she lives).

My siblings and I are wondering how to broach the subject with DM that they are no longer married and he hasn't and won't be visiting. We want to be kind and sensitive and at the moment the consensus is to say nothing. Is that the kind thing to do or will it confuse and upset her more?

I honestly wouldn't say anything beyond a brief acknowledgement like "oh really? That's helpful". If she is unable to remember that they are not together I think it will just distress her if you tell her. I would make sure staff in the home are aware of the situation and can gently change the subject if she mentions him.

I agree with not telling her. She won't process it anyway. Do you want to hurt her multiple times? I would just say "that is lovely" or whatever.

There's no point in saying anything that contradicts their thought process in that moment. Logic no longer exists or if it does it's fleeting. Often less distressing (for them at least) to just agree and a general acknowledgment like the PP mentioned, 'that's handy/helpful' etc and then quietly divert to another topic.
You have my sympathy, it's a dreadful disease and often I think so much harder for those that sit on the outside looking in.

I agree with the other posters - mentioning it now, will upset and confuse her and by the time you go back another day, she will have forgotten and be back in that time again. No good will come if it - just say "oh that's good" or something similar and change the subject. Keeping her happy and upbeat will be the best thing for all of you.

In my experience it only causes more distress to try to correct them or explain that somethings not true. As difficult as it is, it's usually much better to just go along with it, and gently try to steer the conversation on to a different topic

I'm so pleased that's the advice. I felt that saying mmm OK then moving on was the lesser of the two evils.

Reminding me that telling her once and hurting her is one thing but we would probably have to do it repeatedly makes it clear the right thing to do is casually acknowledge it and change the subject/move on. Thank you so much for your help with this.

Definitely just play along, oh really, that kind, helpful etc.

Just the same as if she's talking about people who are now dead, don't tell her her Mum/Dad/Granny has died. It's like them hearing the information for the first time.

No point in upsetting them in the moment only for them to have forgotten again by tomorrow.