Mum saying she is I'll everyday - is this normal?

[luvvacuppa]

My mum was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer's in late 2020. She is late 70's but 'looks well'.

She has always been a bit of an introvert and negative person but this has escalated a lot in the last year or so.

I live with her with my 2 children (17 and 21).

Her short term memory is terrible. I constantly worry about her (ie - losing her bank cards on the rare occasions that she goes out, being taken advantage of financially, etc...) so take her to most appointments and do the majority of her life admin. It's tricky trying to strike a balance between helping her and not being seen to 'take over'.

Since my dad died 4 years ago, she has begun to have a lot of duvet days.

We are now at a point where every morning is now like Groundhog Day. I'll take her in a cup of tea and it's the same convo every day - her saying she feels awful, her throat is sore, her knees are on fire and her shoulders hurt. I think a lot of her aches and pains are old she and lack of exercise. The sore throat has been looked into and she has been prescribed Omeprazole. I have suggested anti-depressants but she has poo poo'd the idea. It seems as though her default position is to complain but not want to do anything about it.

I was wondering - is this common with Alzheimer's?

I am trying my best to be supportive and positive but when in bed she barely eats (so I end up bringing her food upstairs). I have suggested she invite people over as I guess she is lonely despite us living with her - but she never wants to follow this through. At times it feels as though she 'likes' being like this.

Any ideas as to how to improve the situation?

I have experience similar with a relative who has the same illness complaint each day -
antidepressants helped.

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. It could be that she knows something is wrong (my Mum had periods of complaining that her brain wouldn't work) but her brain can only make sense of it by translating into physical symptoms that are easier (for her) to describe.

Is she on any meds? Sounds like a GP appointment might be the best thing- my Mums meds were dispensed in a dosette box

Thanks both.

Yes, she is on 3 different meds (she still likes to sort out her weekly doses into the weekly dispenser - I haven't got the heart to take that job away from her yet). She also has about 4 Lemsips per day.

We've seen the doctor recently. He suggested anti-depressants too but she refused them. He has suggested I find a local Alzheimer's support group. Not much else he can do at this stage although we have been re-referred to the memory clinic to see if she could be eligible for mentamine.

Anxiety is common and antidepressants do help.

Seeing it from your DM's perspective, every morning she wakes up and discovers she's an elderly lady with aches and pains and this surprising and upsetting to her.

Boredom is also a big problem. Apathy is a huge feature of dementia. She can be bored but also completely unable to initiate an activity. Inviting people over herself is likely beyond her. She probably doesn't know when she is hungry either.

Day centres can be invaluable- don't give her the opportunity to say no.

Cross posted with you on the Lemsips.

How much does she weigh, does she take 2 tablets each time, and does she take any extra paracetamol?

She may be chronically overdosing on paracetamol.

Lemsip contains 500mg paracetamol per sachet.
I think that the apathy and boredom is a big part of dementia. My Mum was also prescribed anti depressants which helped.
Aches and pains won't be helped by being inactive either. Is she able to walk?
Have you contacted Age UK? Some areas have befriending schemes which might add a bit of variety to your Mum's day.
I'd agree that perception of pain, hunger etc can be altered by dementia..

I think she weighs 8.5 to 9 stone roughly.

She uses the lemsip sachets - not sure if that makes any difference. When she runs out, she has paracetamol (but I keep them in my room as she loses track of how many she takes).

Befriending schemes sound like a house option to look into. I know she won't be keen on day centres but I'll look into that too as well as age uk.

Thanks for your advice - it is reassuring.

My FIL wasn't keen either. However it reached a point that MIL was going insane.

So she just took him and dropped him off. And he loved it.

She also chose one at a Nursing home- eventually he went one day and stayed.

I'd be looking at giving her anti depressants as long as her competency has reduced. If it has she cannot make decisions properly and you need to decide what's best for her not what she wants, I assume you have PoA for health

The paracetamol dosage worries me, I think the aches and pains are not helped by lack of exercise, my father had Alzheimer’s lived with us , he did go for walks twice daily, luckily never got lost, he ate well was always hungry! Only had aricept to help with the disease,ate quite a few fruit and vegetables, I think it would do her some good to try and socialise.nothing worse than being alone, does she enjoy reading , tele puzzles, my dad loved word searches kept his brain active, everyone is different but I do think socialising helps,