How am I going to cope?

[urghnotthisagain]

I don't really know why I'm posting this but it's 3am, my new medication is stopping me sleeping and I'm just so, so sad.

Dad has vascular dementia and lives in a flat on his own. I am an only child and we are very close, even though he lives 50ish minutes away, i try see him around 3 times a week.

As he declines further I just don't know how im going to cope. I have a 3yo and am in the middle of a very messy divorce. I run my own business and have had some of my own health complications recently.

I want to give dad the best care possible but I already feel guilty that im not living with him. Im not sure I can take the guilt and the emotional burden.

Does he have carers at the moment or is he managing okay on his own day to day? Have you got POA in place?

It is difficult and, eventually, it is likely he will need additional care in the form of daily carers and then a care home. Tbh our DF getting to the point of needing to go into a home has actually been a relief. We no longer have to worry about his safety, his daily (lack of) care (twice daily 15 minutes from carers was totally inadequate but all he was entitled to) and we now know he is safe and well looked after. He physically looks a lot better and he is mentally a lot better too.

Is your DF moving to sheltered accommodation near you an option? You would be able to spend a lot less time travelling if he was nearby which would reduce the stress a little, you already have a lot going on. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this alone.

have you looked for support for carers? Someone may be local to you that could offer advice and support. I just wanted to offer my sympathy, it must be hard with everything you are already dealing with
www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support

www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/dementia-support/