Is this the onset of early dementia?

[SeaBoat]

I have a list of observations about my mother from about summer of 2021.

• she wasn't able to follow her solicitors request
• her nephew died. I was trying to organise a lift to visit her sibling but she was making excuses not to visit them. The day of the funeral came and we were ready to go to the funeral but she made excuses not to attend saying its not fair on the driver my brother who rented a car. She went for the second day of the funeral. The church part. (perhaps some social anxiety?)
• she gets bored easily so much so she fled into town in torrential rain to pass the day instead of waiting for a drier day.
• I caught her eavesdropping
• I found she had items of my underwear. She never washes my clothes and one of the bras she had I hadn't used in a while because it was a good or fancy bra or for good wear. Also she had some of my knickers. I know this because I am plus size (18 to 20) and she is size 12 or 14.
• there has been episodes of confusion but it's mild and hardly noticeable. Mixing up dates..
• there's some paranoia like cleaning the bathbath a lot and over filling the washing powder dispenser and washing at high temperatures and adding extra functions to the machine and sometimes not even filling the machine. There might only be a few items of clothing (the bill is going through the roof for us).
• she told me a tale that was quite questionable. I didn't quiz my mother. I nooded my head and listened to her but it was weird as fuck and came out f no where. She claimed she went to the shop and saw her ex/my father and his girlfriend in the shop but she didn't want him to see her so she went to sneak behind a shelf but she peered from behind the shelf to see what he was doing. He was buying drink and cigarettes. A few weeks later she told me this again and this time she said she also saw his ex mistress in the shop and the two of them (the ex mistress and her, my mom) were both hiding behind shelves in order not to be seen by him and mom then said that the ex mistress still has her eye on him and she still wants him. That would be very false by the way. They are broken up. Even if it was true how she managed to come to that conclusion from the woman hiding behind a shelf peering at her ex, doing the same as my own mother. I don't know.
• then visitors came one day. She didn't want them at home but she took them in anyways and got me to help her serve them tea and chat to them. My mother sat with me in the kitchen and all she did was make faces to me and mover her eyes to me. It was weird. Almost as if she was trying to talk to me with her face.

I mentioned my concerns to our GP at one of my appointments. The gp tapped into her chart and she recognised some things that weren't right straight away in that she was supposed to go back to the GP a few months ago. She was also supposed to draw down on a prescription anti fungal medication but she didn't do that. There was something like that about ignoring an anti fungal medication.

Our GP rang my mother and asked her down for an over 65s check up. My mother went but I don't know what the outcome of that was. My mother went back to the doctor a few weeks later for results. It seems as if my mothers memory is OK nd she can remember a lot. There's just other things. Then I noticed in her room loads of notes taped to the wall and one of them said to go back to the GP for a particular date. So she's writing everything down it seems.

I asked my mom about her results appointment at the GP and my mom was very happy and pleased and said everything is great and the GP was very happy. I asked what about her cholesterol and mom said that was good too. You see her gp highlighted high cholesterol a few months ago but she didn't want medicine and she wanted to fix it through diet. I found it odd how the GP never referred her to a dietician but I googled high cholesterol and diet and everything I suggested like increasing fruits and vegetables and changing to low fat milk - well, she complained about everything. She did nothing to reduce cholesterol except for reducing salt but that's for the blood pressure too.

I don't know if there was any referral made to the hospital.. I don't know what the outcome of that gp appointment was.

Yup sounds like dementia. But a dr needs to diagnose.

You say "early" - how old is she? Do you live with her?

Oh god, I am petrified of dementia because its progressive. I know it seems like she is OK right now a lot of the time but I know it's progressive.

I live at home with her and I think if I was living apart I wouldn't see these things. I think if this was one of my brothers at home they probably wouldn't thing there's any issue.

She is 70. How am I supposed to find out what the outcome of her appointment was?

There was mail in the post last week to her and it looked like a medical piece of mail like the envelope where they send out a cervical smear check or breast check envelope. I really think it looked like a medical envelope. She never told me what was in it.

I dunno...its something but I wouldn't have said dementia.

Op are you in the UK?

I could be wrong of course, but have some experience of relatives with dementia.

Have you tried talking to her about it?

I mentioned my concerns to our GP at one of my appointments. The gp tapped into her chart and she recognised some things that weren't right straight away in that she was supposed to go back to the GP a few months ago. She was also supposed to draw down on a prescription anti fungal medication but she didn't do that. There was something like that about ignoring an anti fungal medication.

WTAF? Your doctor should not be telling you anything about your mother's medical history. It's an absolute no no.

It could be but I'm not a Doctor.

Have you got LPOA for your DM?

It could also be a mental health issue, the paranoia about her ex and his ex/ likely making things up.

some things are normal, like going out in the rain - next time it’s an icy day look for a procession of little old ladies who decide they have to go to the shops right now, with their children on the phone saying: noooo I’ll go for you!

Some of those things my mum who has dementia does. But I don't think I could say those things mean she has dementia.
Would she give you access to her medical files? My mum signed a letter for me to see all her records and discuss them. It has saved both me and the gps a lot of stress. Mum wouldn't sign initially but I kept asking her things until one day, out of the blue, she said she'd sign the letter.

Have you posted about her before. I seem to think you have and she was quite difficult for you to handle? Was there an argument in a bathroom? Sorry, if it was someone else.

some things are normal, like going out in the rain - next time it’s an icy day look for a procession of little old ladies who decide they have to go to the shops right now, with their children on the phone saying: noooo I’ll go for you!

DFIL also goes out in rain and ice, even though there's no reason to go out abs he knows that we would get anything he needs.

I understand your concerns and it sounds as if something isn't quite right. I'm amazed the gp disclosed details of your mother's health records.

I’m sorry but I think it may be the start of it. The paranoia thing in the shop sounds like my mother, who came out with a tall tale about her brother’s will one day. She’d also make coffee without putting any water in the machine, of which I was reminded when I read about your mother’s clothes washing confusion….simple, everyday tasks being buggered up. It looks as if she can’t distinguish between your clothing and hers either.

Would she agree to an assessment? A GP did my mother’s and it took about 30 minutes. They didn’t bother with a brain scan because the test was so conclusive