Tough Week

[alwaysonmyown]

I've had a tough week so far. My parent is in the early stages of Alzhiemer's. I arranged for carers to give her medication, check on her etc. There's always been something to worry about for the last two years particularly at the start of the pandemic.

Now she won't take medication. She is really awkward, always has been. On the one hand I care about her and on the other I would like to walk away from it all although obviously I can't.

I was planning on having a break away but now it's not possible. I'm so fed up of it all. I get no support from anyone else (long story). The carers meet-ups in my area are usually when I can't take time off work.

I have no one to talk to about anything

Oh that sounds so difficult @alwaysonmyown but you do have us. You might want to have a look at the Elderly Parents Section on MN. It's busier than this one and there's a long running support thread.

As for the medication, have you spoken to the GP about her refusal? Could they prescribe it in a different form?

That sounds tough. Does she still have capacity to make decisions? Do you have lasting power of attorney for Heath and welfare and finance set up? If not, try to do that before it’s too late

There is a way to get medication prescribed to be given covertly but you’d need to speak to your GP about that and make sure the carers are happy.

Hi. Thank you for your kind replies. My Mother seems better today. I'm wondering if perhaps she wasn't very well.

It could be up and down from here. I will have to take it one day at a time.

The carers aren't allowed to hide the medication in food etc.

The carers aren't allowed to hide the medication in food etc

Could the GP offer it in a different firm that might be more palatable? For instance she may take a liquid better than a pill?

Caring for someone with dementia is so tough.

My Mum has trouble swallowing which I understand can be linked with dementia. Could the medication be supplied as a liquid ? I know some can't but might be worth a chat with the pharmacist.

You say you can't now take a break - is that because you live with your mum and provide care for her directly ? If so - how would you feel about paying for a carer to stay with her overnight ? I understand if you feel reluctant to leave her for a 3 week break but maybe you could try a night away, see how that goes and then maybe extend to a couple of nights.

Have you had a carer's assessment for yourself ? Worth having if not.

The Alzheimer's Society have a online support community - might be worth checking them out - haven't used them myself. The link www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-online-community

I wanted to go away on Sunday night as it would be cheaper to stay in a hotel but it wasn't possible.

I don't live with my Mother. There may be a way around it if she doesn't take medication. I have spoken to the GP about this now.

@DPotter - yes, it's really hard isn't it. I have found Alzhiemer's Society brilliant and do use the Talking Point webpage.

I won't qualify for a carer's benefit as I am not caring for my Mother full time.