How quickly does dementia develop?

[ILCTM]

My dad is 73 and, being honest, he's never been the most coherent or the most 'together' person. I've always thought he's on the spectrum somewhere, but never had a diagnosis.

Anyway, a few months back, he went into hospital. He was having trouble with his breathing. It was found to be a heart problem and he now has a pacemaker fitted. After he'd had the surgery, he had to stay in hospital for a few days to recover, and whilst there, he forgot where he was. He thought he was at home and decided he wanted to go to the pub, so tried to leave the hospital, to be stopped by one of the nurses who told him to go back to bed. I asked him if he was sleeping and maybe just sleep walking or if he'd not long come round from the anaesthetic, but he didn't know.

Since then, he's just been more forgetful than usual. As I said, I've always felt there's something amiss with him, I've always said he's away with the fairies half the time, but it seems to be getting worse but then I also appreciate that he's getting older and that your memory does naturally get worse.

An example of his forgetfulness - while he was in hospital, they found a small area of cancer on his kidney which he now needs treatment for. They've said it's most likely nothing to worry about as the area is so small. So my dad has now told me on 3 or 4 separate occasions over the past 2 weeks that he has cancer. He also rang me the other day to ask me if it was ok to put a pie in the microwave with a foil tray - this kind of question, however, isn't unusual behaviour for my dad, just to give you some kind of context of what my dad is like.

Also, because of his pacemaker and the cancer diagnosis, he's got quite a few appointments coming up with the hospital and he just cannot keep on top of them.

My mum has told him to go to the doctors about his memory, but he's said there's nothing wrong with his memory, so won't go, but we are hoping at one of his upcoming appointments, it might be picked up.

I don't know what I'm really looking for here because to me it does sound as if it is dementia, but it's just seemed to have happened so quickly that he's got this forgetful. I guess I'm wondering what your opinions are, and any advice? Thanks, and sorry for long post!

Can your mum go to the GP and tell them the issues and ask for advice?

Any concerns you have I would flag up with the doctors.

In my dads case it was about a year of being a bit forgetful, then out of the blue being found in London which is over an hour away by the police not knowing who, why or where he was. That was 6 weeks ago, he's now unfortunately in a care home, that's how rapid he declined but I think it varies from person to person. I spoke to him today and I couldn't hold a normal conversation with him

Vascular dementia can cause sudden changes rather than a gradual onset. But the confusion in hospital is called delirium, and is incredibly common. It normally resolves fairly quickly after they get better and back into their familiar home enviroment, but can linger longer for some. You know your dad though, and if he's not right it's worth trying to get some form of assessment.

I'm not sure the hospital appts are going to be the best place for this, especially if he doesn't feel he's got a problem, but yes, talking to his GP might be the best place to start. They won't discuss anything with you, but should be willing to listen to your concerns, and maybe get him in for a 'check up'

My mum and dad have a slightly unconventional relationship, in that they are together but they don't live together, he lives 20 miles away from my mum and his doctor is based where he lives, but I will mention that maybe she goes with him. I live 150 miles away from them so I can only go visit on the weekends and school holidays because of childcare.

It's weird because as I said, my dad isn't the most articulate or coherent anyway. He often rambles on and it's often hard to make sense of what he's trying to tell you at the best of times. So my mum is wondering if the doctors might pick up on his memory just because of this. He recently sold the flat that he rented out and my brother had to deal with the estate agent and solicitor as they couldn't really grasp what my dad was trying to say, but again, I don't think this is completely unusual for my dad. He's terrible at explaining things, always has been.

He has a doctor's appointment coming up about his pacemaker. I'll see if my mum can maybe get hold of his doctor's details and give them a call to give them a heads-up on his memory problems.

Thanks for the info on delirium. I guess hospital can do that to a person. I'll look into that.

I wouldn't necessarily expect the doctors to particularly pick up on his memory issues, especially if he's quite rambly anyway - my mum was completely delirious in hospital much like your dad, and no one even questioned it. I had to expressly tell staff that this wasn't normal.

Giving a doctor a call before an appointment might be the best way - your mum can be totally honest about the problems he's having so the doc can keep an eye out for them when they see your dad.

If the appt is with his cardiologist I don't know how helpful they'll be with it, but might have advice on delirium - I'd guess they see a lot of it in their patients. If not, GP would be your first port of call to consider dementia or other options (and there are a few, it could be vitamin deficiencies, an infection, or just normal age-related memory loss that won't necessarily keep progressing.)

My dad started with the me pry and lots possessions at about 80. This got worse and worse until mum mentioned it to the doctor on an unrelated visit. The GP immediately got the message and asked dad some questions and then booked a visit with the memory nurse. A CT scan followed. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 82.

he passed away from Covid pneumonia at 89 and was in the far stages of Alzheimer’s.

i miss him lots.

*memory and lost possessions

For my mum, in retrospect the first sign that things really weren't right in her brain was when she had spinal surgery aged 60 and she was really out of it in hospital. We blamed it on the painkillers at the time, and she did get better, but was never quite the same, and then would chug along ok and then suddenly have a downturn in cognition, and repeat. Her first real symptoms were personality changes and losing all her words for things. Early on she could talk around that, and it was like the funny episodes of her younger self, but slowly she couldn't find the other words either.
Getting her an initial diagnosis was hard as her short term memory was ok, but when I explained to a Dr her specific problems it was glaringly apparent on questioning that there was something very wrong. I think that your mum going to appointments with him and advocating for him will be really important

There's definitely something not right. I gave him a call this morning to check how he's doing because my mum is away this week. When I spoke to him, he said that he was sorry to hear about my mum and that the card I sent him had lovely words, about her being with the angels now and growing her wings. I said that the only card I sent him was a few weeks back for Father's Day and my mum is fine. She got food poisoning while on holiday and was quite poorly, so perhaps this has played on his mind and he's got very confused.

It's just horrible and I don't know what to say to him, like whether to confront the issue or not. I don't want to add worry as he has plenty of moments where he seems totally fine. So I just said to him that he sounds very confused and perhaps it could be his medication - he has diabetes and a pacemaker - so he should speak to his doctor.

I'm going to see if I can find out who his doctor is and see if I can have a chat with them or at least pass the message on about his confusion and if perhaps the doctor could be alert to this when he next sees him.

Sorry he's still not well, I think talking to his GP if you can find them out is a good idea - they should be happy to speak to you and listen to all your concerns - write down a few examples like this one and ask them if they could call him in for a checkup.

My mum seemed fine in herself a lot of the time, and then just the odd few moments that were so odd that it was hard to write them off as being a little forgetful. She had been a little concerned but passed a memory test from the GP (can't remember if this was before or after her hospital stay). Even so, her GP was very receptive when I spoke to him, let me explain things that might not seem too unusual for an older person, but definitely was for her (like being baffled by phone, computer, sky TV etc - she'd always been very tech savvy). It's the little things that you recognise in a loved one that can go unmissed.

Hopefully at the least you can get him in and checked for bloods, infections etc, to find or rule out other possible causes.

Hope your mum's feeling better too, could've done without that bless her!

Definitely find out who his GP is and talk to them, they are the best ones to help him with this.

Has he given you POA? If he does have Dementia it's best to apply before he gets a diagnosis.

Have you had a look at the Elderly Parents Section too? It's under "other stuff".

There's a long running supoort thread and some other threads that you might find useful too.

For now though see if you can get him to sign POA for health and finance, it will make things so much easier and cheaper if he does grant it and speak to his GP. Tell them that you are concerned, that he needs his memory checking and maybe a SW allocating.

Thanks for the responses. I've managed to find out who his doctor surgery is and have spoken to the receptionist. They've put a flag on his file to check him when he's next in. He told me he has an appointment next Monday, but the lady said he definitely doesn't. I think he's getting confused between the doctors and the hospital.

I just don't know how to broach the subject with him, as in I don't want to freak him out or worry him. When I spoke to him just now, he seemed pretty normal.

Did you pull him up on the 'sorry about your mum' episode? Has he forgotten that or did he find it weird? You could wait until the next time he does something off and try broaching it, could gently say are you sure you're back to normal after your hospital trip - then you can go from a 'not yet recovered, let's check with the doc' angle, rather than suggesting he has something else 'wrong' with him.

My mum knew she wasn't right after she was discharged, we put it down to anxiety at first. It helped us to encourage her to the docs from that point of view, whereas if we'd said there's something cognitively wrong that would have panicked her completely.

I decided to call my dad back. I asked him if he remembered what he said about my mum and he said he does and he knows what happened now. He said one of his cousins had sent him a card about someone who has died and he'd got confused, thinking it was from me, but that still doesn't totally add up. He'd know he wouldn't find out about my mum dying via a card.

So anyway I said I was a bit worried because he'd been a bit confused recently and would he mind me booking him a doctor's appointment to get him checked out. I said it could be anything, infection, medication, something else, but best to get him checked and he said that he'd like me to book him an appointment.

So I've booked him an appointment for him tomorrow morning. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's his medication or a minor infection causing this, but I'm fully prepared that that is probably unlikely.

Ah that's good then, is he going by himself? At least it sounds like he realises he's not himself so will be able to give the doctor an idea of what's going on. I really hope it does turn out to be something minor, for you and him x

www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/delirium

Did he have a delerium while he was in hospital? It can be slow to resolve.

Unfortunately I think it does sound like he has some symptoms of dementia. I work in this area.

He will need a proper assessment where he is tested on things like memory, attention and visuospatial awareness and possible a brain scan also.

Would it be possible for someone to attend the appointment with him or could you speak to someone to give an account of his symptoms etc?

A lot of people we see with dementia deny noticing any issues with their memory.

Best wishes with everything.

Yeah unfortunately he will be going by himself. My brother lives in another country (although thankfully is coming back this month) and my mum is currently sick with food poisoning. The receptionist said that it might be that the doctor will want to speak to me over the phone during the appointment if my dad agrees to it. Whether that happens or not, I don't know but I gave her my number because my dad is useless with technology on a good day.

My nan had Alzheimer's (my dad's mum) and it's just what he said about my mum and being that confused. It just reminds me of some of the things my nan would say, like she would be telling me all about how she'd been to the doctors that day when the doctor came and visited her. She'd tell me about famous people that had popped round to visit her.

Yes, he had the delirium while in hospital. This was at the beginning of April.

Is he on any steroid medication @ILCTM ?@ILCTM ? Only my dad was on some post surgery and they sent him completely loopy. Once he stopped them he was back to his usual self within a couple of weeks. We were all prepared to believe it was Alzheimers (there's quite a family history) but it was the drugs.

I'm not sure actually. I'll have to ask him. He just seems to have gone a bit downhill since he had his pacemaker fitted.

I just called him to remind him he's got a doctor's appointment this morning and he remembered and seemed his normal self, which is good I guess.

I am just so worried about my father.

So recently, he has been repeating himself a lot.. he repeats the same thing over and over again. He is 61 years old turning 62 this year.

For example today he told me to make an appointment and he kept asking if I made the appointment when I told him that I can’t. He called me again at work and asked if I made the appointment and I told him again that I couldn’t make the appointment. I don’t know if it’s just age related or maybe something else.

He also has been acting very out of character. He has been arguing a lot when he is not like this and has done things which is not even him.

Sometimes we’d ask him if he would like some food he would say no I’m fine I’m not hungry then later he would say why didn’t you make me food? And we are all confused because he already has said he isn’t hungry.

could this be something?