My DM has late stage dementia. She has gone rapidly downhill in the last 3 months. She is still very mobile but has absolutely no idea what is going on, can't hold a conversation and is often withdrawn. She is also now incontinent most of the time. She is sufficiently aware of what is going on to become very agitated when she has wet herself and she rubs her legs rapidly and repetitively. However, it is increasing difficult to get her changed. She becomes angry, tells you to go away and pushes. It's like dealing with a very stroppy adult sized toddler. She doesn't really understand what's going on other than something feels horrid. She point blank refuses to put on disposable continence pants and takes out pads within minutes. She will wear Modibodi pants, but they are pretty ineffective. It's very difficult to get her to sit on the loo and if she does, she almost never wees in it.
Usually my dad has to cope with this as I live 2 hours away. I was there today and it took me 30 mins to persuade her to get changed and she was wet again ,30 mins later. That time, she just point blank refused to change.
It's very, very stressful for my 84yo Dad. I wondered if anyone had any ideas at all about what to try. Dad had spoken to the Admiralty nurse last year who didn't seem to have any ideas at all. This seems to be the thing that's tipping me Dad over the edge in being able to cope.