Help with care

[MrOllivander]

I don't even know how to start this but anyway
Early onset, diagnosed 5 years ago. No care in place
Dad can't cope. She is doubly incontinent, talking to the TV, won't take meds. Doesn't sleep at night, dad sleeps on the sofa (age 70)
Passed from pillar to post, they haven't even got the incontinence nurse out. They're doing a financial assessment end of this month for carers. She doesn't need home care, beyond that
Barely eating or drinking
Dad prev had breakdown and worried as he isn't sleeping

I kicked off today and she was just about to go into hospital (I said refuse to have her home) and now they've backturned and said they're doing a home IV drip

Any ideas?! My head is banging

Sounds like she may need a care home, tell social services you can’t cope. Ask them for a care assessment as your Dad can no longer cope. We did this with Mum and she wasn’t incontinent but up all night, refusing to wash, not eating, we had a Carer for 6 hours a week, but then she went wandering. Within 4 weeks they found her a care home where she is really looked after and we can start to look after ourselves now too.

Agree with the above poster. You need a dedicated social worker and it sounds like she does need a care home if your dad is struggling to cope. If thats the case just go straight down the 24hr care route either emi nursing or residential. You can even contact them yourselves to see who has places and social workers just help with the official paperwork. Im sorry your going through this OP. When you said they have suggested an IV drip are they giving her fluids or antibiotics? Her confusion could have worsened if she has a urinary tract infection. Either way it sounds as though you and your dad arent managing. You need to sit with him and have the discussion regarding 24 hr care if its in her best interest and safety.

Well it escalated. My dad has been saying for months she needs FT care and nobody has been wanting to help
Thankfully(!) she fell after an incontinence episode. 6hr wait for ambulance who took her in. Social services are speaking to the hospital frailty unit, and she's going to temporary care to be assessed
Dad isn't visiting as he spoke to her on the phone and she's crying to come home and saying she will jump out the window, the hospital have said not to visit as it will distress her more. He's a bit lost - they've been married nearly 50 years

Glad it all got sorted. Hope your Dad starts to feel better.