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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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DH Having a hard time coming to terms with his mothers dementia diagnosis

4 replies

Teenytinyflowers · 14/02/2022 22:55

Hi all,
My MIL has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She is in the early stages, she is still very capable of doing household tasks, cooking, cleaning etc but there is a very noticeable decline in her short term memory. She isn’t capable of things like managing money and she wouldn’t be able to babysit her grandkids.

Although we have all seen the signs for quite a long time, the actual diagnosis has been a bit of a shock to all.

My husband is taking care of a lot of practical bits and pieces for his parents, he helped them organise PoA, organised an Admiral nurse appointment, got some memory aids for his mum etc. He is being an all round wonderful son to them at what is a really hard time and I’m really proud of him.

He is saying that he is starting to feel overwhelmed(emotionally) about his Mums diagnosis. He said he dreams about her a lot at night and he can’t stop thinking about how things might progress. He feels a little angry too.

I’ve been able to be helpful to my husband in terms of sorting out some practical things for his parents like form filling/ researching resources available etc. However, aside from being a sounding board and listening to him, I’m a bit lost in how to help him come to terms with this. I’ve never dealt with Alzheimer’s in my own family. I don’t know the right thing to say to him to give him comfort or perspective. I know it’s going to be a long road.

Any words of wisdom from people who have been through this? How did your partners help you weather the storm?

OP posts:
sunflowerlass · 10/03/2022 21:53

It sounds like your partner is going through a sort of grieving process. His parent is becoming different from what she was. There will be lots to sort out and it can be overwhelming.

bilbodog · 10/03/2022 22:13

I can recommend you read 2 books by wendy mitchell who was diagnosed with early onset a few years ago. Gives some good insight into what can happen with dementia and how it is possible to live with dementia in the early stages.

www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_5_5&crid=1J80AXUKBQWU7&sprefix=Wendy%2Caps%2C178&k=wendy+mitchell+dementia&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Teenytinyflowers · 13/03/2022 11:08

@sunflowerlass thanks for replying…it is a bit like grieving in a way. I think the sorting bits and pieces and organising things he didn’t mind at all because it was giving him something to do but now a lot is done and it’s hitting him hard

OP posts:
Teenytinyflowers · 13/03/2022 11:09

@bilbodog thanks so much, never heard of that book. I just ordered the kindle version for us both. Appreciate you sending the link x

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