My dad has been in a care home since 2018 with vascular dementia. He caught Covid in February and has been bedbound since then and has not left his bed even to sit in a chair.
He needs care for everything. He cannot sit unaided, walk, wash, toilet, feed himself. He has bladder cancer and has had skin cancer.
He no longer knows me or any of his family probably for the last couple of years.
He spends most days asleep. Speaks very little but will occasionally say something that makes sense like What day is it. Usually most sentences don't make any sense.
He has deteriorated rather quickly over the last few weeks. Now no longer moves any of his limbs, nor even moves his head. SALT have been in and assessed him for thickened drinks and not quite purée food. He still eats a little but only with assistance.
He is being moved to palliative care but is not considered end of life yet.
I have asked for a review of all his meds to determine what he really needs.
My brother and I have POA for both health and finance. We had many open discussions with Dad about his care. We know what his wishes are.
He currently has a chest infection. Dr wants to put him on antibiotics. I just can't see where this is in his best interests? He is not going to get better. He is only going to get worse. It may get rid of this chest infection but what then? He is likely to face more infections or get pneumonia as is usual in end stage dementia.
It just seems wrong. I want to say no to antibiotics because I know what my Dad would want. Gp wants to give. He would not want to exist like this or have medicines that only elongate this existence.
Anyone got any advice?