Hi, I’m looking for some advice on how I can support my husband with this difficult situation. MIL has been diagnosed with dementia and has recently taken a bit of a downturn, her symptoms have worsened and she has become aggressive towards her carers and other family.

When my DH was a child, he lived with another family member as his mum neglected him in favour of whichever boyfriend she had at the time. She also had alcohol and drug problems which meant he saw things he should never have seen as a young child. He’s been getting help with this but his mum’s recent decline has put him back and he’s really struggling with how to cope. He doesn’t have to get involved in day to day care as there are careers who do that but he has a lot of guilt because he feels he should be doing more but at the same time can’t bring himself to care for the woman who treated him so badly as a child.

Does anyone have experience of going through a similar situation where an abusive/ neglectful parent requires care and how to handle it? What support helped you? Is there anything I can do to support my DH work through this?