Where Do I Get Support

[runninguproad]

I'm probably going to sound like an awful person but I have been dealing with my father who was recently diagnosed with Alzhiemer's and I've had enough.

He has always been narrow minded and stubborn but he is even worse now. I have sorted out a carer and every time I think I have dealt with things there is something new to worry about.

I do care about him but all of this is affecting my own mental health. Where can I get some support? Thanks

So sorry that you are struggling @runninguproad. When you say that you've sorted put a Carer, has he had a Care Needs Assessment first? If he hasn't, I think it would be really worth requesting one however you will need to decide how much care you are willing to provide abs be firm with the SW.

Is there a local Carer's Hub to you that you could access as well?

How are things

Sorry, posted too soon blame warring DC.

How are things now @runninguproad?

Thanks for your reply.

The care plan is all sorted out. It just seems never ending with other things to do. I'm feeling down about it all. I think if I was to join a support group I would probably come across as being rather uncaring. My relationship with my parent hasn't been great but obviously I can't not help them and want them to have some quality of life.

Not sure where you are but we turned to Alzheimer Scotland for support. They recommended various different groups and services to approach for support (including financial) for both the person living with dementia and carers. Having been to the carer support group, you will absolutely not come across as uncaring. We found these were the only people who understood what we were going through and it was an outlet for your moans, tears, grief and every other emotion you'll be feeling with no judgment because it's all normal. They also offered one to one counselling. I really couldn't recommend them enough for how they helped us through the "journey". If you have a local dementia charity hub, definitely worth getting in touch for a chat and take it from there.

Thanks for the information. I don't really feel I am a carer as my parent has a professional carer and I just sort of manage things. Could I still join a support group?

Dealing with dementia nearly broke me.
Look up support groups in your local area.

You are still a carer, you can call the national admiral nurse helpline for advice 0800 888 6678 (there might be a local service or the closer to home clinic in your area but they can tell you) they are open 9-9 week days and 9-5 weekends. It is staffed by specialist nurses, they can answer specific questions about dementia, services or just listen.

Alzheimers Society have dementia advisers 0333 150 3456. They also have a very good forum called talking point. They have some really good leaflets and booklets you can order for free, including the dementia guide and a carers guide.

There is an app called cogni care that is quite helpful as a pocket guide if you want to look bits up.

If reading is your thing you could try contented dementia or the selfish pigs guide to caring, I often have those recommended.

The systems can be difficult to navigate at times but there is support there. Most areas have carers uk / local carers organisations that can help too and can signpost to things like dementia support groups, coffee mornings etc.

I'm hoping my other post posted because I can't see if but I wanted to add, dementia is really awful to deal with. Even if you had the world's best relationship it can still be incredibly trying and have a huge impact on your mental health. Anyone who has been there won't think you are uncaring, they will just want you to be supported too.

There's a really good book called 'Contented Dementia'
It helped me hugely and totally nails why it is so incredibly tough caring for someone with dementia. Also some excellent strategies for dealing with it. Would definitely recommend.

You absolutely are a carer. And no one would judge you if you spoke openly at a support group, you feelings are valid and I think normal.

I am also dealing with a parent with dementia and you are right it seems never ending, I have reached a place where it no longer consumes me, but am aware that can change at any time.

There is good advice above about getting a care needs assessment, have you considered oowr of attorney at all? You are also entitled to a carers assessment to look at your caring role. Some places have charities/organisations that support family carers, where abouts are you based, I may be able to point you in the right direction there.

Hi and thanks for the replies. I got a bit tearful reading them. I will ring the Alzhiemer's Society and ask them if there are any support groups in my area. I live in a small place so I've been a bit reluctant to "vent" as people tend to know someone you know.