DM in Nursing home

[mrshoho]

My DM left hospital and has been in a nursing home for two weeks. Physically she is looking better from when she was in hospital. She is dressed and sitting in her chair for most of the day. Although her mobility is very limited. Her dementia is much worse but is understandable considering the ordeal she has been through. She has been isolating in her room so hasn't seen any other part of the home but she talks as though she is in her own home. She has very limited short-term memory eg She can't remember me visiting her at lunch time when asked later the same day. She has no recollection at all of her recent hospital stay (this is probably a blessing) and is generally calm but becomes tearful in the evenings and asks why we're not home. Will her understanding of where she is get any better than this? We are hoping that she will be able to stay at this place long term as she is requiring 24 hour supervision but hope she will be more settled over time.

Her understating is unlikely to get any better as that is the nature of dementia - as you’ve seen already in her short term memory.
However, it may be sun downing. Worth having a google as there are various ways to help deal with this. But be aware, sometimes this is just how it is, until the next phase kicks in.
Sorry you are having to go through this. Dementia in any form is a bitch.

Thanks Bargebill, it is a cruel bitch of a disease. I'm coming to terms with the loss of the lovely chats we used to have and trying to accept this new chapter. The changes were very subtle and gradual up until this year but the last couple of months she's declined so much and so fast. I will ask the home about Sundowning. They say she is fairly settled overnight and quite upbeat in the mornings. We were allowed to visit as essential carers to encourage her at mealtimes as the first week she barely ate anything. I'm just glad she still recognised us and responded well. My darling Mum who was the linchpin of the family, who spent her life caring for others and had a wicked sense of humour is fading before our eyes.

Dementia (to me) always seems to take the nicest of people - like cancer. Both bitches IMO.
I hope you find a solution to ease her anxiety.
Look after yourself too, you can find yourself grieving for the person lost, yet still physically here. Give yourself time and care. You can’t care for her if you become ill too.
Unmumsnetty hugs.

Thank you 😊

You've had some very good advice on sun downing already.

I'm not sure if Occupational Health visit care homes but it's worth asking the home if they do. They visited DMIL when she was in hospital and helped to orientate her.

Know how you feel OP my darling mum head of the family and my best friend and rock has advanced dementia it's totally devastating. We used to chat two or three times a day.

@Bargebill19 I have to agree with you, my lovely mum has dementia and my lovely sister died of cancer five years ago.

I'm so very sorry @lollipoprainbow . It is heartbreaking to live through and also losing your dear Sister to cancer must feel equally 💔. My best wishes go out to you.

Thank you @DominicRaabsTravelAgent I've now written an email to the home manager with lots of questions and included a question regarding the possibility of OT/physio input.