Dementia heartbreak

[lollipoprainbow]

My beloved mum has had mixed dementia for five years now and is in a home. She has reached the stage where she no longer knows who I am and has the dreaded haunted look in her eyes. We were so very close and during the last visit I cried my eyes out when she shut her eyes for a while. The home has a Facebook page and shows pics and videos almost daily and she looks so sad and confused in the photos compared to the other residents who aren't yet at that stage of the illness. The pain I feel is unbearable. Anyone else been in this situation ? Should I carry on visiting?

This is my mil.
My dh visits every week now that restrictions are lifted.. but she doesn't really know who he is.
He takes her favourite books from when she was younger and reads to her.
The saddest thing in all this is that she's 67.
Sending strength.

My darling dad was diagnosed 4 years ago and isnt yet at the stage your lovely mum is, but I see glimpses often.
Please still visit her, she will have a sense of knowing you, feel comfortable with you even if she doesnt know why. She will pick up on your love for her.
My heart breaks for you @lollipoprainbow, it is a vicious, cruel relentless illness that takes our parents inch by inch xx

There's two reasons for visiting 1) for her pleasure - and she may still have pleasure even if she's not sure who you are. 2) to keep a general eye on her, and make sure she is being cared for as she should.

But maybe you can reduce the number of visits to a level you can handle?

And cut down on how long you spend on the home's facebook page?