Any advice for ‘activities’ for mother in law with Alzheimer’s

[CoffeeNeeded2019]

My lovely mother in law, who I adore, has early onset Alzheimer’s and dementia.

She’s currently in what I think is mid-late stage.
She cannot follow a conversation at all but is generally happy to be ‘directed’ to do activities as long as they’re not stressful. (Puzzles for example, even toddler puzzles are too much for her)

She has a very supportive husband who fortunately is well and looks after her brilliantly.
We go over every weekend to give him a break and try to take her to interesting places / take activities with us. (In a support bubble)

We also have a 2 year old who adores ‘Nanny’ and so far they seem to enjoy similar things; although the excitable toddler noises are occasionally proving to be an issue.

Lockdown is proving more of a challenge as the weather means that MIL doesn’t want to go out for very long.
She enjoys painting, colouring, having her nails done.
Does anyone have any suggestions for other activities she might enjoy? She seems to only be able to do them with someone alongside her.
Ideally not the tv as she tends to watch that in the evenings.

Gosh, just realised how long that is.
Thank you if you’ve read all of it!

Music from her teenage years might help. In terms of activities, folding washing, rolling up balls of wool, dusting etc are all possibilities.

My FIL reads the paper every day. He doesn't retain any of it so if MIL can't get out to buy the paper he will happily read the day before. He can't follow any tv programmes, even simple ones. But he will happily sit and "read" for an hour.

There's lots of advice about dementia in general on the Alzheimers Society website.

You sound like a wonderful DIL.

Photo albums , picture dominoes if she cannot manage the normal ones, folding tea towels was strangely popular in the dementia care home I worked in.
We also had reminence cards, basically old pictures that prompted conversation from their childhood eg the old fashioned milk man

@Bargebill19

What about if she ‘helped’ you teach your youngster some nursery rhymes. Throw in some action ones - heads, shoulders, knees and toes etc! Can be done sitting down and standing up.

A word of caution on nursery rhymes - avoid ones that have older offensive versions (eg eeny meeny miney mo with the n-word) as they may revert to the version they remember from their youth and you can't simply tell someone with dementia that it is not considered acceptable nowadays as they will just forget again.

You sound like a lovely DIL. Age UK and dementia/alzheimer websites might have more suggestions, but some great ones already here.

-Folding things seems to be popular. Towels, napkin/serviette, teatowels. Possibly clothes if they arent too confusing in their shapes.

• Blow up a balloon and play ball with your DD, keeping the balloon in the air and off the ground

• She could 'help' you make playdough (recipe below) then play with you DD with it. Very tactile and colourful.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/playdough-recipe

What we did with my dad with things like the dishwasher was split it right down. So I took thinks out and handed them to him to put on the kitchen table. Often you would have to say 'put those on the table's every time. Then put them away a cupboard at a time with me standing at the cupboard and asking for items eg the blue plates. It took time but kept him occupied and also moving around the kitchen.

Another one was short videos on my phone worked quite well if you showed him the same one a few times in a visit. Dad liked model railways so a 2 minute clip of a train set held his attention briefly and if I showed him a couple of times he liked the familiarity.

My mum spends a lot of time weeding. Although, as said above, I'm not sure how much of what she pulls up are actually weeds. She is also surprisingly good at table tennis and enjoys playing with the grandchildren.

There are some great ideas on here. My lovely mum also has Alzheimers, poss a bit too advanced bow for most of these activities but music has always been the best thing for her, it can really lift her mood. They have a Google and Spotify and its worth it's weight in gold. She also used to enjoy colouring and painting stones. I am going to get a her a doll soon as I think she would enjoy that.

If your mum used to have pets then something like this might be good?
www.alzproducts.co.uk/companion-pet-silver-white-mitts-cat

With my Mum, it was activities that she would always have done. So she loved to dust, she would peel veg, arrange flowers, wash some dishes, she loved the garden, she would sit in the garden for hours pulling the weeds (I know not so easy in this weather).

I have found that they just like to help.

You mentioned a flower subscription, you could buy some artificial flowers because she could arrange those as many times as she likes.

Also, I know for a lot of Dementia patients they like dolls or a soft toy to care for.

Hope this helps.

Thank you again to everyone who’s added suggestions.

We have some of the aqua paints, she enjoys it, will spend over an hour doing it, and it’s something our toddler can also do which is fab

I’ll try the folding, she likes clothes and fabrics, she used to make curtains / cushions etc so she’ll probably enjoy that

I’ll definitely try the music suggestions, and nursery rhymes (good point about choosing which ones carefully!) She does dance around the kitchen occasionally and used to dance when she was younger, it’ll be interesting to see if her coordination can follow action songs.
Balloons are a good suggestion but unfortunately elicit a high pitched excitable sound from DD so don’t work well in reality as the noise is too much for MIL. (Same with bubbles)

The planting is a great idea, she likes to potter in the garden in the summer so we could maybe start some seeds off

She’s never been much of a cook, I’ll try the baking suggestions and see how they go. She can’t use knives safely now and recently has appeared ‘stressed’ if she has too many instructions to follow.
Occasionally there still seems to be some higher self-awareness and she appears to realize what she can’t do, which leads to her feeling upset, which obviously we try to avoid. I would hate for her to feel like she was being treated ‘like a child’, and if she does get upset she leaves the room feeling overwhelmed and it can take a while to reassure her and calm her down.
But hopefully with things prepped we could manage some cakes.

Playdough may be a good option, we make it a lot at home and she might enjoy the malleable experience and ‘helping’ DD.

The ‘fiddle’ blankets I will bear in mind for the ‘next stage’ as I’m not sure she is quite there but I’ll ask FIL if he thinks they might be useful for the evenings .

Somebody mentioned pets, they have a Labrador who is a great comfort for her (and sometimes the only thing that can calm her down) we do take the dog for a walk and play with a ball in the garden too.
I wonder if she might be interested in grooming the dog if I got a brush each for her a DD that might be something else to try.

I’m really grateful for (&and quite overwhelmed with) the lovely ideas and number of comments. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’ll report back after the weekend!

Grooming the dog does sound like a lovely activity that they can share together. You probably have thought of this but I would get those super soft rubber type brushes so that the DDog can't be over brushed

dementialearning.org.au/technology/a-better-visit-app/ I don't know if you have heard of oma applesauce but it's a YouTube channel about a son and his mum and their alzheimer's journey. I came across one of their videos today about this.

I don't know if it's any good but it looks like the type of thing my dad would have enjoyed.

My Mum learnt to ask Alexa for the news and weather an used to giggle at it answering her - although she continued to like to listen every day she did forget how to ask Alexa for it eventually. We did manis and pedis too plus creaming skin as she got very dry skin and it helped to massage her legs a little and her feet when she was less mobile.

She would sit in different places at different times of day, she would help folding washing once it had been brought in. Put the pegs in the the peg bag

We used to watch period dramas in short bursts - Downton was popular. She used to like going outside to inspect the garden and see what was new (she enjoyed new things coming up at different times (bulbs) , she also liked factual programmes in short bursts so Garners world, antiques road show etc

We used to take her for short trips - tea at the garden centre and hairdressers - in fact hairdressers was hr last trip anywhere with me - if only I had known at the time makes me sad (She died Nov 19). She used to like a drive out as well even if she stayed in the car whilst one of us shopped etc. My Aunt reminded me of this when she went for her first vaccination and all she could remember was a drive over the dales.... (she has a similar condition)

She really enjoyed photos and short time with small children. Have you tried making buns or scones or biscuits or even just icing the cakes etc. Modern photos were good to remember grandchildren - didn't always work as the yougest grndchild kept being referrd to as that gorgeous chunky boy rather than his name - she would then say "you know who I mean don't you" and we would say "of course Mum" bless her.

She also used to like watching us play games or cards even if she couldn't join in, plus being in the kitchen whilst we were cooking - doing small prep jobs, she could cope with a peeler for e.g. but was slow

Could she play picture snap or dominoes with 2yr old? Or maybe some small farm animals with her, or a robust dolls house plus baby dolls?

This is a great thread. Thanks for all the ideas…
If anyone has any more 'male' centric ideas, I'd love them - not sure if my dad is all that good at folding things!

This is a great thread. Thanks for all the ideas…
If anyone has any more 'male' centric ideas, I'd love them - not sure if my dad is all that good at folding things.

My DF used to put on file her DF had enjoyed in his youth. She always used to say that he could name every actor in a western, just didn't know who she was

Web cams on zoo animals are always a winner.

My dad had a display cabinet of model cars and taking them off the shelf to wipe it dow and putting them back was always good. It can be a matter of thinking about what they liked and making up something that involves it. Looking through a toolbox for a Philips screwdriver was another popular one as it in involved taking each item out, looking at ot and putting them back.

It's a bit of a mind shift but it doesn't have to actually be useful, just feel to the person involved that there is a purpose.

I love the idea of zoo webcams