Very little memories of life

[Ftii]

Hello, I don't know where is best to post this, so have done so under a few sections.
I'm 32, have had a great upbringing lots of friends and travelled alot. My issue is that I know I have been places/took part in activities but have no memories of them.
I have picture to look back on which will remind me I done certain things, but if it wasn't for them I probably would know as I couldn't tell you what happened, how we got there etc
This isn't just small things either, I'm talking about my wedding, a job I was in for 8 years I left 2.5years ago an I can't remember what I done, I have no childhood memories. My friends will talk about things we done and I can't remember anything.
What can I do to help myself? I now have 2 young kids and I want be rmember our life together.
I'm getting very down about it the more I think about it.
I hope someone has some advice.
Thanks

My advice is to book a GP appointment and possibly ask for a neurologist referral.
How far back do you remember stuff? The birth of your children, the first kiss with your husband? Last Christmas?

Do you have other health conditions that affect your memory? It sounds really difficult.

Thanks for your reply.
Its very strange the whole thing. I think I've known I've had a bad memory for years, but only this last few months I've really been thinking about it. I do remember events happening more recently ie last Christmas, although it did take me a while to think back on it. Birth of kids I do remember.
But my husband will say 'aw, remember when she done this or that' and I can't. Not all the time, but alot of the time.
From my younger years with my family, I remember random parts of holidays we've had, I remember my room as a teenager but I don't have any memories of being a family as such. I do know I was very happy and loved. I remember my grans death, I remember having a fall out with my dad (not major, just teenage drama) I know I didn't get on too well with my mum in teenage years, but don't remember why.
I remember nothing of primary school and could tell you what some of my classrooms looked like and my teachers from high-school but no events.
With life now involving camera phones alot of the time I remember stuff via pictures, but can't remember how we got there, what happened when there other than what's happened in the pictures. Again, not for everything, but the majority of things.
I have never been on medication, no traumatic events, nothing that runs in my family. Just seems to be me.

Thanks for your reply I'm no no meds, and never have been on anything.
I think it's only difficult now as I've been letting it bother me by thinking about it all the time. Previously I knew I had a really bad memory but didn't analyse it to the extent I am now.

This sounds just like me, I remember random things especially when I felt really bad or guilty about things but everything else is just nothing. A man recently started at my work and I recognised him as a boy I knew from primary/high school, it must have been 18 years since I saw him. I was thinking about it and I can't remember him at all from high school when we were in the same house/class group 🤷‍♀️ I just thought everyone was the same😳

I'm like this too, I don't remember my nieces as babies and the youngest is only five. I've been noting down every day things about the kids cos I don't want to forget them as babies and looking back on old videos so I don't forget.
I find I'm more likely to remember something once it's written down and occasionally reread. Maybe start with a really boring diary of everything that happens to start training your memory.
I talked to a someone in psych while pregnant and she was quite concerned about my memory and was pushing for an event that triggered it, I assume she was looking for trauma?! But there was none just a truly shitty memory.
I'm very good at cramming for exams so my short term memory is fine. I always knew there was no point putting work in early because I couldn't retain the information that long.

Also find if someone reminds me of something the guilt of not remembering cements the memory and I keep it

I totally get you! I also spose I thought every one was the same until recent years, and then more so over the last few months I've been thinking about it alot. My husband has an insane memory and can tell me so much about his past and what he done with friends and family and I just don't have that.
Like one thing that came up recently was a school trip.. I remember going on the trip, but don't know anything that happened and don't remember my friends being there, just that I went on it.
There's a thing I found last night called severely deficient autobiographical memory... Have a look at it. Some of the articles are hard to read but it'll let you see if you maybe have this too.

Yes, this is exactly what I feel too. I remember feeling bad if ive had arguments or said something I shouldn't have but I don't remember how we actually got to that point lol
I think I will need to start a diary. It's worth a shot to try and help, and if it doesn't help just to read over in years to come. Then I know exactly how I felt at that time.
I have never really spoke about it before until the last few weeks. I said in my previous post, I think I knew I had a bad memory but that not remembering events was normal but I now know its not.
Have you seen a gp since your midwife was concerned?
I found something last night called severely deficient autobiographical memory - I think it's highly likely this is what I have but it's not medically recognised so I don't think anything could be done to try and help.

No I didn't see a GP it's just who I am I don't want to medicalise it right now. I feel myself improving in small ways as I make a concentrated effort to bank small memories like what it's like to read the baby a bed time story. I'm not convinced I'll remember the things I'm trying to but I am more aware in the moment and I feel its improving things overall. I think it's improving my neural pathways (making up science as I go ) and I'm getting bursts of memories from way back. So they do seem to be in there just not readily accessible.
I had a boyfriend in my teens who went home to study for a couple of months and I forgot I was going out with him and took up with someone new real shame cos he was lovely but his fault really because he refused to text me so he could concentrate on studying.
I used to joke I keep my memory in other peoples heads but it's true I rely on my friends and family to remind me of things.