Hi, I’m another one with a mum in spain who is rapidly losing memory. No idea how she survived lockdown but she did. My brother is there at the moment and obviously this would be best, but he needs to get back to sort stuff out for a couple of weeks, then I think he can go back. ( single, can work from anywhere, lucky chap!)
I’m feeling very guilty as my dp had a brain haemorrhage 2 years ago. Luckily he has recovered.He didn’t want me to go to see mum at Xmas so we went to his parents. In Feb he didn’t want me to go as he was made redundant. My brother had to go as mum had no electricity or phone. It has been amazingly hard as he was very unfairly treated and took it as far as Acas, but advised not worth his while to go further. He has managed to get another job - started a few weeks ago, in a new area that is incredibly difficult ( he’s a scientist) . I got to spain as soon as lockdown ended and mum pretty ill so I stayed 3 and a bit weeks until she was on her feet again. It was longer than I first thought and dp found it difficult ( he had flu, kids missed me etc) tho he wasn’t working at the time, but obviously redundancy is very depressing and difficult.My brother has asked me to go to spain to give him a break ( he’s been there 3 - 4 months). And needs to sort stuff out in gb.
Dp has asked me to not go, it doesn’t help anyone, but to bring her here. I think long term we will have to - we will never get chance to see her in a home in spain. My concern is that she doesn’t really want to come here, also the weather may bring on bronchitis. We live in Scotland so a big difference. Has anyone else brought a family member here after a warm country? She loves where she is, but brother is feeling trapped, a carer for 2 hours or so still leaves her alone for too long.
Also am I being unreasonable to ask dp to hold the fort for a week? The kids are 12 and 15 and I would leave ready meals/ washing done etc. His mum seems to think it would be very lapse of me to go as he is the main earner and if he doesn’t pass the probation we are in big trouble.
He says he doesn’t know if he can do it and is working stupid hours to try and learn it all. Just feel more than a little trapped as a housewife! And I am beginning to feel resentful that I can’t go for a week. And brother getting a bit cheesed off. We were supposed to go this half term but of cause quarantine means I can’t take the kids as they would have to miss school.Want to be with mum.
Sorry, didn’t realise how much it’s getting to me.
A clear thought would be very welcome!