End stage dementia hastened by covid?

[Candleabra]

My mum has advanced dementia, no speech, requires 24 hr care. She's in a care home. She was very ill a few weeks ago, drs said it was probably covid, but no swab test available. She recovered but since then has declined further - she's not been eating and is now not really drinking either. They're sending her to hospital for tests but gp said its more likely a hastening of the dementia. Is it likely this is nearing the end? I guess once she stops taking in fluids that's not a good sign.

I am sorry to hear that your mum is not well.

None of us can say what the cause of her decline is, but I am sure her GP / hospital will talk it through with you once she has had the tests. Dementia is an awful disease for the sufferer and their family so you have my sympathy. x

Sorry to hear this. My dad is end stage dementia too and whenever he’s poorly, even just a cold, he deteriorates. In fact before xmas he stopped eating and drinking and I was warned he was possibly near the end, then he started eating and drinking again. So who knows?
I have heard It is usual for anyone (not just with dementia) to lose interest in eating and drinking in the final time before passing away but equally, it could come back. That’s not helpful at all I know, sorry! Hope your mum rallies for you thoigh

My mum stopped drinking, she was taken into hospital where she was re-hydrated. They performed lots of tests, but she was not ill as such.
When I last visited (just before lockdown) she was not eating, not really drinking, she said she wanted to go home. The following week she went home, and died about 36 hours later. We decided she had just had enough and wanted to die; we think had she not gone into hospital she would have probably just died at home.
I believe sometimes when people feel it's the right time to go, they will.

Thanks, it's so frustrating not being able to visit. I know she's been declining anyway due to the dementia but it's been so swift. When I last saw her she was still relatively ok - content and eating/drinking - but you're right it's an awful illness. I guess we'll know more tomorrow.

Hi, just to update - mum's had the tests and no physical illness or infection. So it's 'just' the dementia. She's been given IV fluids but still refuses to eat. She's currently still in hospital and we'll see what tomorrow brings, but the likelihood is she'll be transferred back to the care home to manage her end of life. What a sad end for my poor mum. She'd be devastated at how she's ended up. The deterioration has been so quick. I hate this illness so much.

Sorry to hear your update op. Dementia is THE worst.

Dementia is really the worst, i bloody hate it.
My mum received end of life care, she also had dementia she lasted nearly 2 weeks with no fluids.
We didn't want her to be taken to hospital. My sister and I moved into the home and stayed with her.

Hi thanks for your messages. We were told today that the hospital was withdrawing all iv fluids and were letting nature take its course. They'll still offer normal food and drink. We asked how long : between 2 days and 2 weeks. She may stay in hospital, or they'll arrange her palliative care package with the home (not quite sure what this means but we should know more tomorrow). She's in a specialist dementia ward at the hospital. She's still up and about though, just not eating. Goodness knows how she's still going. It's all rather surreal as I can't visit and I haven't seen mum since before lockdown. They said she's lost a lot of weight but as I haven't seen the deterioration it doesn't seem real.

Sorry to everyone with loved ones going through this. It is monumentally shit.

This sounds so awful for you all. It must be terrible not being able to visit. xx

So sorry this has happened. Won't they let you go in or at least see her through a window or something? I thought that was supposed to be allow

• allowed in end of life situations? Sorry, posted too soon.

My dad died of Covid in his care home. It happened so quickly he didn't get moved to hospital which I think was better for him. Maybe if that's possible for your mum she will be in familiar surroundings at least. It is shit - so sorry

I'm not sure about the visiting now actually. Having had a read of the latest information think the hospital will allow it in end of life cases. The care home definitely will. The situation is complicated though as my dad is also very ill (stage 4 cancer and undergoing chemotherapy and immunotherapy currently). He's obviously isolating but I'm his only contact and doing a lot of caring and hospital stuff. I don't want to put myself at risk of passing something on.

Selfishly, I'm also scared about seeing her like this. My husband died two years ago and i still have nightmares about how he looked when he died. I have to be strong for the kids and I just can't afford to break down. I'm genuinely not sure what to do. It really has been a terrible few years.

@candleabra I can sympathise, my darling mum is in final stages of dementia too and it's devastating, I lost my lovely sister to cancer four years ago so like you it's been a tough few years.