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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Original poster

Dementia, what to do?

14 replies

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 12:55

My DH is worried about his mom, she does have some problems with her memory, EG often calls the grandchildren by the wrong names, struggles with dates and times as in processing it all, and also struggles to get the right words for things at times, we used to spot this some of the time, but recently, it has become every time we see her. I just wanted to know if anyone could advise on what to do??

Also, my DH found out that his grandad had Alzheimer's and is starting to worry it's genetic and he is worried he will eventually get it too? Do you think I'm BU to think that's a bit annoying/self centered?? It's about his mum not him?!?

OP posts:

TheFaerieQueene · 07/03/2019 12:58

It could be, but it could just be a natural part of aging or the result of another undiagnosed condition.

It might be time to have a frank discussion with her and her partner, if she has one. Perhaps offer to go to the doctor with her if she is scared. There isn’t much more you can do without a GP visit to determine the cause.

Sorry this is happening. I know how hard it is.

TheFaerieQueene · 07/03/2019 12:58

Re your husband. Tell him to get over himself.

PurpleWithRed · 07/03/2019 13:03

Does your mum feel she has a problem, or not? If she does then make sure the GP doesnt fob her off with ‘age-related memory issues’ or some other such vagueness but does a full memory test themself or via a referral to a specialist. If she doesnt then a gentle route in via the GP is probably a good start - it might be something temporary or something that can be fixed.

Original poster

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 13:03

Thanks @thefaeriequeen, i don't really know anything about Dementia, I could imagine her being quite upset at it being mentioned and at the moment, not totally sure how or who will broach that. From what I am reading online, it seems that there is some sort of treatment available to at least slow the progress, if this is even what it is, but acting fast is quite important. So I think we should be trying our best to do that not thinking about ourselves!!! 😡😡 DH is a lovely, kind guy which is why I'm surprised he's thinking like that... He started talking about learning a foreign language WTF??

OP posts:

Original poster

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 18:47

Bumping for any more advice
Really at a loss as to what to do here?
Also, feeling bad for being mean about DH, he's obviously very worried and upset ☹️

OP posts:

GooseberryJam · 07/03/2019 18:52

Just going through this with my dad. Some forms of dementia there are no treatment for, some there are. It also depends what stage it's at. First step is to ring her GP, explain what's worrying you and ask to come in with her for an appointment.

Original poster

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 18:55

I'm not sure it would be right coming from me though? Maybe my FIL is better?

Sorry to hear about your dad x

OP posts:

Hermie12 · 07/03/2019 19:15

My mum has early stage dementia . As a family we had an inkling for a while . Someone needs to gently suggest to her about seeing the gp to be tested. FIL? She may not entertain the idea to start with but as she has time for it to sink in she may admit to herself her concerns . Once my mum decided to see the gp I think she was almost relieved there was a label for her condition. She takes medication is still
100% fine but very forgetful. Also anything out of routine , new places , faces she finds stressful and gets agitated. Mum is 82 and who knows if the meds help slow things down or how quickly things will develop but as a family we have learned to be more patient and let things go rather than having a need to be right ! As someone said it could just be old age forgetfulness but if it is dementia then support is there with diagnosis

cptartapp · 07/03/2019 19:17

She needs a memory assessment. Explain your concerns to the GP (letter) and ask them to call her in for a 'well woman check'. Then go with her. They should also do routine bloods etc to check nothing else is the cause of her issues, but can refer her to a memory clinic if indicated. Often the medical help is limited and care focuses around social support, day care, carers, home adaptations and other issues such as POA. This isn't an easy road and the sooner you act the better.

Original poster

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 19:46

@cptartapp do you really think a surgery would do that? Xx

OP posts:

Bringbackthestripes · 07/03/2019 19:47

She needs to go and see a dr, there are many treatable causes of memory problems or confusion and these need to be ruled out first of all. Could you suggest she ask the dr for a health check but, prior to her going, contact her gp yourself so s/he is aware of your concerns and can request appropriate blood tests?

Having 2 grandparents who had/have Alzheimer’s and one parent with worrying memory problems I understand your husbands concern BUT his mum is the immediate issue so yes, he should get a grip and focus on her.

cptartapp · 07/03/2019 19:55

I'm a practice nurse. We do it regularly.

Decormad38 · 07/03/2019 19:58

She needs a dementia assessment. Book her into the her gp.

Original poster

queenqueenqueen · 07/03/2019 20:19

@cptartapp ahh that's really helpful, thank you so much. I'm not sure it would be appropriate for me to go with her, I'm not sure she'd ask? 😕

OP posts:

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