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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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4 replies

Applesticker · 26/02/2019 23:50

This is a long story...
In a nutshell
Nana has since 2014 slowly deteriorated in her mental health and shows all the signs of Alzheimer's a d what I believe is now stage five dementia... Has ALL the symptoms.
Grandad is a stubborn old man and frail and won't accept any help from anyone with anything at all! He treats my Nana like a naughty child shouts at her and controls every aspect of her life to what she eats and drinks and even if she gets out of her armchair to leave the room.
She had one social care visitor three years ago who apparently said Nana was getting old and had short term memory problems.
Since then there had been no further attempts for medical care regarding her mental health.
Mother is a pathological liar... Something I've lived with for nearly 40 years. She insists she's done she can to obtain medical care for Nana but states a doctor told her 'nana can do do crossword puzzles she hasn't got dementia!" The same sentance she uttered years ago when then social worker apperently assessed my Nana!
I know full well this is utter rubbish a f mother is pandering to my Grandads wishes as he wants nothing to change and obviously has no concerns for Nana's medical needs
Nana is deaf, can't use the phone and is locked in the house at night with no out if anything happens to Grandad or there's a fire.
She doesn't know family.members including mother. She doesn't know her birthday, what happened five minutes ago, speaks to the TV as if the people are real in her living room. Can't dress herself, can't cook, can't make a cup of tea doesn't sleep and wanders screaming all night.
I called Safegaurding who put me in touch so social services.
They have said they need consent from my Grandparents before they can act... I've explained everything and waiting for a call back.
Anyone been through similar? Or can advise?
I'm the only person in my family who seems to want to act and do anything about it!
Thanks

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 27/02/2019 00:01

Sorry to hear this, what an awful situation to be in. What are you concerned about for your nan and what would you like to see happen for her? She does sound at risk of harm, and that’s the angle you need to keep pushing to social services.

PurpleWithRed · 27/02/2019 00:04

If your grandmother lacks capacity and is at risk from your grandfather’s emotional abuse, neglect and coercive control they have a duty to investigate as a safeguarding issue. If you get fobbed off keep pushing higher - use Safeguarding language. Im afraid it’s going to upset your mum and grandfather though.

Applesticker · 27/02/2019 00:13

I've told my mother I'm not working to her! I'm sick of her behaviour. And if Grandad calls sick... She's over in a shot and takes him to hospital. Yet Nana has been poorly for years and gets no help. Even my mum shouts at her and acts like Nana is a naughty child.
I want a diagnosis. And I want this to end. I'm personally sick of it and the fact Nana has zero dignity. And I'm glad you said emotional abuse as it is abuse and it needs to end.

OP posts:
Applesticker · 27/02/2019 00:14

I want a plan put in place for her proper care and for when she becomes too poorly for my Grandad to 'look after'

OP posts:
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