We have a neighbour we have started to get to know/help out who we have concerns about, so I don't have to keep typing out 'neighbour' all the time I will call her Ivy.
This is long so have put a tl;dr before last paragraph, really sorry about the length but feel I need to give examples of what we have noticed.
Ivy is in her early nineties and lives alone, up until recently she had other neighbours who were helping her do shopping, taking out, taking to doctors appts etc but unfortunately one passed away a few months ago and the other is on holiday for a few months (gone to their home country for Christmas, but their husband is helping out, albeit begrudgingly) so neither are around to help her.
We had spoken to Ivy a handful of times over the last couple of years since we moved and found her nice but repetitive. It seemed like she hadn't remembered telling us things, but because we rarely saw her it could be down to her just not knowing she'd told us things, but we were concerned about her memory.
But in November she had a problem and thankfully knocked on our door for help. This is when we got more suspicious about her mental health. Basically all her bills have been set up to be paid by monthly direct debit except for her phone bill. Turned out her September bill came, she thought it would get paid automatically but it didn't, October she had a reminder but didn't realise it needed paid so November her phone was cut off. When she realised she came over as didn't know how to pay as in the past she'd always gone to her bank with the slip and paid but her local one is now closed so she couldn't do that, she didn't understand when we explained about PayPoints so we rang BT and she gave permission for us to sort it for her. Bill paid, phone back on, all good there. She wanted it set up to pay by DD but we couldn't do it on the phone as her bank card doesn't have her account no on (just the 16 digit no) so guy at BT said he'd send out a DD mandate form to fill in. We said for Ivy to watch out for it over the next week. Every time we ask her if it has arrived she gets a little confused and says she thought it was set up already and she hasn't had a letter. (We are going to ask her if she has a bill later in December to arrange paying it so it doesn't get cut off again and go over trying to set up a DD then.)
At the time of the problem with the bill we had her into our house and chatted for an hour or so, this was when she told us her friend was away for a few months. We have offered help to get her to the doctors before so repeated our offer as she had lost two people who were helping her. Ivy also has a wound on a limb which, she says, has not healed in 10 years and hadn't been seen by the doctors in ages, so we kept saying we could get her to the doctors. Somehow she went to the doctors last Friday, had it dressed and was given a prescription for dressings. She didn't even realise she had a prescription until later so on Saturday came over to us for help getting it. We went to the pharmacy with her but they needed to order them. She didn't realise it was all dressings and thought she needed some ointment and she got confused there. The pharmacy said she could try another pharmacy or they could order them, Ivy said yes to both options more than once, clearly didn't understand there were two options. We got her to order them and went back down on Monday to get them, unfortunately the wrong ones were ordered so had to go back Tuesday. She insisted she needed ointment, realised it was dressings then got upset when the pharmacist would not sell her some others. The pharmacist explained they didn't know exactly what she could have and some dressings might be dangerous and cause her injury to get worse. Ivy got upset and said she needed them for the nurse coming on Tuesday to redress her wound. Pharmacist and I thought nurse would bring dressings, I'd there was a nurse coming. In the end I said we'd go to her doctors and find out what was happening, when her dressings needed changed and if she needed to provide dressings etc. I had a word with pharmacist about my concerns for Ivy, pharmacist said to contact adult social care (where she used to work).
Ivy couldn't remember the name of her surgery (which she has been going to for years) but directed us there. More than once on a five minute journey we had to remind her where we were going and what for. At doctors we discovered Ivy had a nurses appt on Tues for a redressing. I also had a word with the receptionist about concerns over Ivy, she said go to adult social care and gave me their number. Husband had gone to get our son from school so we waited in waiting room at doctors for half an hour for his return. During that time I had to remind Ivy she had an appt for Tues 4 times!
Tues (today) took Ivy to appt. While in car on way I said we'd go back for her prescription too, Ivy thought it was for her tablets! (Not ointment or dressings).
While waiting before appt Ivy made a comment something akin to "That stupid woman on Friday gave me the wrong things, she gave me something dangerous." I didn't know what she was on about as she'd had her wound dressed and given prescription for dressings, then realised she was mixing up the advice from pharmacist about different dressings with her appt on Friday and thought the doctor had prescribed something dangerous. I am sure her doctor won't want accusations like that being thrown around too.
It looks to us that Ivy's been having some problems for a while but having had neighbours helping in the past it has masked her inability to do things as there has been someone else doing them for her, therefore she has not come up on the docs radar as possibly having some mental health deterioration. She can not do shopping, go to town, go to the doctors etc without help, but no one in the medical profession knows as she has made it to appts, but she can't get there herself, she always has help. She has also had 3 falls outside her house over the last year. Unfortunately it was in the dark and she has a big bush in front of her door so we didn't see her to go and help. She told me today that she had had to 'come round' (to consciousness) and had to wait to get the strength to get up before she could move! Another worrying sign. Also, seeing her kitchen today it looks like her diet consists mainly of Mr Kipling type cakes and not much by way of savoury courses.
tl;dr - Ivy is showing many signs of forgetfulness, unable to pay bills etc, some examples mentioned above. Has had 3 falls during last year, might not be eating properly
Anyway, called adult social care Tues afternoon. They say they aren't the people to help, they are there for helping with getting dressed, making sure people are eating, money issues etc. They are concerned about Ivy's ability to pay bills and her diet now though as mentioned those. They said a doctor needs to diagnose and refer to the correct people. How do we get Ivy the help she needs? We are at a different doctors so can't get an appt for us at our docs and use that time to tell doc about Ivy as they can't take it to her doc, or we can't get an appt at Ivy's doc and tell them as we aren't registered there. Already mentioned at Ivy's docs reception and they sent us to the wrong place. Adult social care said we need to try to bypass receptionist and tell a doc, Health Coach or Wellbeing Officer if surgery have them, but how do we do that if we can't make an appt to see them ourselves? Have thought about writing to a doc at the surgery with a summary and our contact details if they want more info about our concerns and ask them to pass onto Ivy's doc, but do docs open their own mail or do receptionists open it and filter out 'timewasters', if so they might just tell us to go to adult social care again. Or is there another organisation we can contact who can take it to the medical professionals/doctor? Am a bit clueless as to how to get Ivy assessed so any help to point us in the right direction will be appreciated. I am assuming organisations like Age Concern or similar are not the right kind of organisations we need to contact, or should we try them?
Thank you for any advice you can give us. (Also, there are other things we have noticed in the last 4 days, this is just some of what we have spotted over 4 days, so feel Ivy really needs help.)