Help.. my mums mental health is worrying

[chokkamocha]

Hi there.

My mum is 84, living/caring for her husband and he has Alzheimer’s.

Her mental health is really worrying, she’s showing signs of paranoia and has been for the last year. She’s accusing a family member for catching a bus across the county and saying he is entering her house, taking her medication, stealing her things, swapping clothes and shoes over, taking a spoonful of jam! etc.. once again she has called the police (very stressful and concerning).

She has lymphoma and this is all too much.

I’ve asked her to see her gp for the last year, she responds saying she isn’t mad, I’ve explained she may have a medical imbalance which is heightening things, but she is adamant she’s fine.

What the hell can I do? He’s gp is aware and worried, but without her approaching him he says he’s unable to help.

She has told age concern, the council and all and sundry that this family member is taking her things, but they are believing her and urging her to go to the police... any advice here, it’s all getting out of control.

Thank you

I think you might need to call the NHS 111. That's what it advises here

www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/dealing-with-a-mental-health-crisis-or-emergency/

It sounds like she's sadly needing a lot more help than she's currently able to access and neither her nor her husband are safe living independently any longer.

I am sorry OP. It's very stressful.

Thank you AjasLipstick

I am aware of this, however I do think it could be more of an imbalance (ie mineral imbalances can cause paranoia). She’s perfectly able to pay bills, cook meals, clean and maintain the house, she goes to her hospital appointments and is great with her calendar.. it’s just the thoughts about this family member.. I’m going to mums tomorrow and mum has told me this family member will be there too.. I’m hoping this won’t blow up into something 😢

I would avoid or distract if the conversation turns to the paranoid subjects.

If you think it's possible, you could try to get her to talk about her toilet habits to find out if she might have a urinary infection. That's another cause of confusion.

She won't see the GP?

No she will see the go for her lymphoma, or other issues but not mental health.. despite my explaining that the services are to help her she is very against it and believes this is all really true. She’s been like this (at this level for a year) but has had paranoia since my dad left in the 1980’s .. as a teenager I knew she was different but didn’t know what was going on.

Social services are aware but do little, Age Concern are facilitating it by saying call the police as are the council. The police are saying they think it’s mental health.. what a frigging mess it’s becoming

I think I'd contact the GP and tell them. Tell them about her behaviour and ask if it's possible to speak to her about a urinary infection or other causes.

Second the advice about urine infection. My mum has dementia and gets very confused and paranoid when she has an infection

I would also say it's possible urine infection, I never thought it could do so much damage to someone mentally until my nan (she has vascular dementia) had a bad urine infection & she went around telling people that she was being accused of killing a little girl & that people were trying to hang her for it. She also believe someone was stealing her money & she had watched them come into the house & do it (she was hiding the money herself) also men were hiding in the curtains watching her.

It's very frightening to listen to & upsetting that they are going through it. Unfortunately because of the dementia she still believes that to be all true but it was the urine infection that made her hallucinate these scenarios in the first place. Hopefully whatever it is your mum thinks is going on you get it sorted out quickly.

My DF's GP was prepared to raise the issue of mental health during an appointment for a physical problem, and my DF has agreed to further assessment. Have another go at your DM's GP and see if he would be prepared to act if she wee to go to him for something else.

if she is doing most things then this sounds like a different sort of problem - sometimes vitamin deficiency causes symptoms that are quite similar to dementia. You really need to get the GP on board - can you write a letter asking him to send out an appointment for a general health check (routine) and try to bottom out the problem?

@chokkamocha did you get to the bottom of this? It’s just I found this thread as I’m concerned about my mums very similar behaviour. She’s never been exactly stable but her behaviour over the last couple of years has deteriorated and she creates dramas (ruined my daughters graduation and today caused a scene in a bank) she can be paranoid, forgetful but one of the things I’ve noticed is the highs and then lows. Today she wouldn’t stop talking and rambling then within the hour was suddenly moody and being dramatic and paranoid