Advice on Forced Court Of Protection Order For Elderly Father.

[INVICTAGUY70]

Hello All.

My elderly father, who is nearly 80 is physical and mentally exhausted. Suffering from severe depression since losing his wife over 7 years ago, gets no sleep due to a prostate condition where he's up 6+ times a night, deaf (will not wear his hearing aid) and suffering what I suspect is early dementia, which his father had severely. Refuses to see a doctor for anything.

Very emotional and refuses to talk about issues about his health/legal/financial matters, (no DNR, will etc) which involve him running out the door or sitting in a chair with his eyes closed rocking to and fro. He cannot cope with anything outside his normal routine and comfort zone.

I am strongly considering a court of protection order to safeguard him and his affairs but would like more information about the process that establishes his competency from a legal perspective. He can still do certain things and has a daily routine etc, goes to the shop and home, feeds himself etc, but is very forgetful when trying to talk and has lost his logical and common sense in many aspects.

If anyone who has had to do this in order to take control of a parents affairs, I'd be grateful for the insight.

In order to do this you will have to prove he lacks capacity to make desicions about his finances- him not engaging will not be enough to prove this.
You can't get CoP for health and welfare only finances.
I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this. It is such a difficult thing. I agree it is a good idea to start thinking about this.
Have you had any involvement from social care? A social worker can assess capacity and discuss other support options with you.

You can apply to the c.o.p. be a deputy for his finances and welfare but you will need a capacity assessment which is better done by a doctor. The forms are online, gov.uk site just look up being a deputy for power of attorney for someone who lacks capacity. You can also ring them, they've always been very helpful to us. The capacity assessment form is also online. You won't be able to make a decision about d.n.r. or his Will. It's best to try and get his doctor to see him to assess his capacity, test him for dementia and see if they can help with his depression. You can always call social services adult safeguarding team if you feel he is at risk of harm or self neglect.

Sorry for yours and your Dad’s loss and the the resulting issues.

I would suggest doing the following:

• go to his GP, describe your concerns and request an urgent referral to your local Older Adult Psychology, Mental Health or Memory Service
• if you get to an OA Psychology service they will listen to your concerns, assess your dad‘s mood issues, and do an informed mental capacity act assessment on the specific issues you have concerns about (a person can only be found to lack capacity around the specific question at a specific time)
• There are two types of power-of-attorney: health and financial. Service should be able to help guide you if they find your father doesn’t have capacity on certain issues. They should also help navigate accessing social services support.

Good luck and I hope you find good support for both you and your Dad. While this is going on don’t forget to look after yourself too.

Thank you for your replies.

The problem here, is that at this time, he will refuse to see any professional medical person. He will not answer the phone, He will not open the door unless he knows the person. I should go and see his GP to access that OA Psychology service.

What would the procedure be if you have a non compliant indivdual who will not acknowledge medical or legal directives?

First step, go to the GP yourself. Take a list of issues symptoms to help you remember (it can be difficult in a naturally emotional situations). The GP will guide you. If your Dad won’t accept input, and if the GP thinks it’s needed, they’ll get other professionals involved e.g. social workers, psychologists/psychiatrists etc. If your Dad is as you say ‘severely depressed’ this could also be effecting both hus thinking skills and sleep. The GP will want to know if he’s coping ‘within his normal routine’ what are your specific concerns (list them). The GP will lead you as they’ll probably know what’s available in your area.

If, after proper assessment, he’s found to lack capacity about something (and we’re all allowed to make unwise decisions) a Best Interests Meeting will be arranged to decide what would be best. Any decision is question and time specific. But that is simply a possible future possibility. First thing to do is visit the GP.

We're in this twilight zone with one of my relatives who we're all pretty sure has some form/stage of dementia but probably other things too. She's very resistant to help/tests and it's been a real strain on my parents trying to interact with the doctors. In our case, the safeguarding team have become involved (at our request) and have appointed a social worker but she has said that they cannot force treatment/help at this stage - basically if people have an element of capacity, they are allowed to make bad decisions as I understand it. The whole things is really difficult - but (and this probably isn't want you want to hear), your father probably isn't at the stage yet where he's deemed not to have capacity. The whole thing is pretty grim isn't it?

What you describe is very common. LAs will not organise a visit unless your Father agrees. Most GPS are the same. Because of his awareness and the little ability he has, it is unlikely that you will be able to obtain a CoPO. Your concern is really about his welfare and trying to keep him safe. Sadly what usually happens is a crisis the results in a hospital stay, gets the ball rolling. This might be a fall, an infection or an accident outside of the home.

It is a really horrible feeling of powerlessness that overwhelms you. I do feel for you. There is a caring for elderly parents’ thread on here which has been running for years. Lots of advice and hand holding, which was the only thing that kept me sane.

Thank you again all...

We are dealing with a man who has dysfunction/depression his whole life and who now has a mulitude of serious physical and mental problems. At this time, we are at the stage where we are waiting for something to happen, fall, illness etc, in order to get the proper evaluation, which, sadly, now we actually feel is the best thing....

Severe depression can and does mimic dementia