Toilet issues

[user1465146157]

My dad has Alzheimer’s and is currently looked after by my mum.

He is going to the bathroom and forgetting (?) to clean himself properly - and my mum has had to clean a lot of mess up recently.

She is finding this really tough. She has a nurse come round once a week to wash him but this particular issue is hard to schedule so there is often no help when it happens.

I’m not sure what to suggest here - how do those with dementia / degenerating brain diseases deal with the bathroom?

We are new to the illness and each day brings some new horrible problem. There must be so many people going through the same and my heart goes out to them

Advice appreciated

Hi it's very difficult dealing with this. It has very recently started happening with my mum. She has carers 3x per day but like you say it can happen anytime and I've been cleaning up a lot of mess recently too. Have you thought about incontinence pads / pull ups I've found at least sometimes they hold some of the mess. Its not ideal and I honestly don't know what the answer is.

Hi dementia carer here. I agree what has been said above about incontinence pants or pads. From the sounds of your post your dad is not actually incontinent yet. Try maybe some prompting? Ask if he needs to go to the toilet and then prompt him to clean himself? Give him some tissue or wipes and remind him what they are for. Your right he is forgetting. Apart from the nurse what other support has your mum got in place?xxx

Sorry for the delay in posting back - thank you for your replies.

My mum has little support really and I worry for her health more than his sometimes.

Its a minefield trying to find the right support.
A charity worker comes to look after him once every 2 weeks so she can leave the house for a bit - i don't live there so cant be back all the time.

its very tough - MissTytoalba - if theres anything you suggest or some help we are not getting just as we don't know about it please let me know

thank you X

Have you had a care assessment from social services? And is your dad getting attendance allowance?

I agree with what purple has said. Contact social services and ask for a care assessment. Tell them your dad is a vulnerable adult. Be there if you can when they do assessment, you will be able to help put a care package in place. Is your mum likely to say She can manage ?
When my mum was diagnosed the memory assessment centre arranged for someone to come and help us fill in the forms for Attendance Allowance. Although tbh I could have done it myself after reading the Age UK, carers website, dementia and Alzheimer's website.
Ask his GP for a referral to the continence nurse. I must admit my mums GP looked a bit when i asked for a referral but i told him social services had asked for it (in fact it was SS who advised me to do it. I would have had no idea otherwise) that way if pads are useful and they assess him as needing them you won't have to pay for them. The continence nurse who came to see my mum was brilliant she made the referral as urgent and within 4 days my mum had had a delivery of pads.

Best wishes OP.

So hard when you are far away to know what's going out too. Is there any family in the area? Definitely referral to social services,continence services. In the interim buy men's Tena / pull ups from boots. Some people print out in big letters,one line instructions,laminate it and stick it up - depends if your dad has any insight if this will work. Other people leave "wet wipes" instead of toilet roll by the toilet/commode to make it easier for the person (might need to check if the are flushable / where they are being disposed of)

Get hold of your continence service - look on the local NHS trust website - our continence nurses were fab

Having similar issues with my mum. The incontinence nurse refused to help unless my Dad got mum to eat a special diet and complete a diary evidencing a certain frequency of incontinence. We are struggling to get mum to eat and drink at all!

ILovePierceBrosnan that is the most ridiculous response I have ever heard from the continence service and i've some really daft things. Just tell them that's what you are doing and make up the incontinence information she wants and then ask for pads. Even better ask for a different nurse - ours were amazing. I'm on here as often as I can be but I run a group on facebook - if you want some extra input and support please join us www.facebook.com/groups/dementiaconnection/