Advice please

[Undercoverbanana]

Parent is 76. Both (much) older sisters had dementia before their deaths.

Parent is showing some worrying signs. Sometimes very “on it”, sometimes worryingly confused, forgetful, unable to be logical.

Parent is amazing physically. Swims a mile front crawl twice a week and recently cycled 30 miles on a day out with me (but had no idea where he was).

When is the right time to suggest a visit to the GP?

How do I go about it? I am dealing with a very, very independent man who has no tolerance for “weakness” in himself or others.

What is the point of a diagnosis? If there is no cure, is it worth the distress of tests?

I don’t know how worried I should be.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Out of my depth with this one.

Early diagnosis can be beneficial in terms of medication to slow the progression and help with symptoms and support

Madratlady - how early? I thought the medication was just a placebo because dementia is always just going to get worse and can’t be controlled?

I believe medication can really hold back the disease in the early stages so go ASAP to GP

I don’t even know if he’s registered with a GP. Apart from asking him, I suppose there’s no way of finding out?

How do I go about convincing him to go?

Diagnosis is a tricky area. One important advantage is that is a prompt to getting affairs in order, in particular arranging lasting power of attorney for both finance and health. Without these you may be heading for real trouble later on as you will not have the legal power to make necessary decisions on his behalf. Once a person has lost capacity they cannot make an LPA. You may have to be devious eg don't mention dementia but perhaps talk about the possibility of a major stroke or some other incapacitating illness. Lack of insight/complete denial is actually a symptom of dementia. Have a look at the Alzheimer's Association online forum - it's been a lifesaver for me, loads of really helpful, informed and experienced people.

There is no medication for vascular dementia. If he is diagnosed with Alzheimer's then medication is a good idea for most people. I agree wholeheartedly with getting power of attorney sorted - it will save a lot of problems in the future and ensures family remain in control of health and care decisions. Make sure you get health/welfare and financial and the cheapest, most reliable way to do it is via the Government website where it cost £82 per POA instead of a solicitor at £800. They have a decent helpline too www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
we run a group with a mixture of professionals and carers - you might find it useful www.facebook.com/groups/dementiaconnection/ Hope you will join us

No there is no cure but some forms of dementia can be slowed down with medication and as other have said having a diagnosis would help with p.o.a, and his future plans and prognosis. Could you just say you are a bit worried about his memory and think it would be a good thing to see his g.p. If he has one, you cannot force him to go if he does agree he would have a memory test done and perhaps some blood tests. You will need to ask him if he has a g.p. If he is on any regular medication if would say which g.p. on the label. Medication is not a placebo, there are drugs that can help with the symptoms of dementia.

meds are good for alzheimers but not for vascular dementia so worth a visit to the GP