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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Mum wants to send her final Christmas cards, any ideas what to say?

6 replies

tactum · 22/11/2017 08:13

Mum has Alzheimers and vascular dementia and is progressing relatively quickly in my opinion. She has always been very proud of sending Christmas cards to everyone she's known in previous times - usually sends c120 and loves receiving them. She isn't in a position to do this independently this year, but doesn't yet want to give up on it - fine, we can help her with everything except the signature. One of the main reasons she doesn't want to give up on it is that many people will probably make the assumption that she has passed away during the year.

Obviously, each year some of her old friends are passing away, and there'll be one or two she doesn't get cards off and suspects they have passed.

Anyway, she wants to put a little insert into her cards to basically say, 'I have dementia and won't be able to send cards after this Christmas. But I would still like to receive them and if you don't get one from me next year don't assume I'm dead!'

Any ideas on tactful wording, or what would be most appropriate to do? TIA

OP posts:
yowerohotesies · 22/11/2017 08:19

"Sending you my warmest wishes not only for this Christmas but for every Christmas in the future. Sadly this is the last year that I shall feel able to send out Christmas cards as I have Alzheimers and am beginning to struggle. I hope to be well enough to still enjoy receiving cards for many Christmases to come if you are sending out cards yourself."

StewPots · 22/11/2017 08:21

Oh OP that's a hard one to solve. Yes that wording is maybe a little too abrupt! My mum would write something similar I imagine just tell it like it is Ma!

How about "My dementia diagnosis means I may not be able to write cards independently anymore, but my family will continue to do so on my behalf whilst I am still here to enjoy receiving yours, which I do immensely".

Or words to that effect? Sorry I'm usually good with words and wording but I'm struggling this morning. I'm sure other posters may be of more use!

secondhoneymoon · 22/11/2017 08:27

I like yower's wording, also StewPot's - depending on whether the family does want to write 120 cards on her behalf in future... I am not a big fan of round robins but this is a situation where I'd suggest it - perhaps in future years you could write a few lines (typed and printed to save time) to let people know how your Mum is as I'm sure those she only has Christmas cards contact with would welcome an update.
We've experience of parents with Alzheimer's and know how tough it is xx

tactum · 22/11/2017 15:20

Thanks lovely people, how helpful. Appreciate the responses. No we wouldn't be sending out cards on her behalf next year onwards, and I also don't think she has many Christmases to come so I'll draft a combination of the two suggestions, thank you!

OP posts:
Grimmfebruary · 22/11/2017 15:22

Could you not have whatever message you chose printed onto stickers to then stick into the cards? So then the actual writing would just be to, a Christmas wish and then from. Lovely she's wanting to let people know that she's unwell in that way though x

Aridane · 22/11/2017 15:24

OP - I love your wording Blush !

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