I'm apologise this is long. My Mother has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia & Alzheimers. During the assessment both my parents withheld information which led the consultant to believe she is in the early stages. I stayed behind and spoke to the consultant explaining that the situation is worse than they've been led to believe. I was assured she would be reassessed at home within 6wks and my concerns would be addressed.
Fast forward 3 months and as far as I'm aware (my parents have not informed me and Ive not heard from the hospital) and nobody has been to assess her situation within the home. Soon after her initial appointment in September I discovered that she is being violent towards my father. She becomes distressed when he goes to work (only a few mornings a week) and she is dropped with a relative to care for her for a few hours. But each time during the lead up to leaving the house she is frequently threatening to slit my fathers throat with a knife, actually holding a knife to his neck. He remains calm and allows her anger and frustrations to pass without causing a fuss. The one time it happened whilst I was visiting and disturbed the incident she ran off and hid the knife claiming nothing was happening. This has always happened behind closed doors and been covered up. My father has admitted to me what has been happening and said its all the time. She's burnt him and often hits him. She has never done this infront of others until last week. Her sister had been caring for her one morning and when my father went to collect her she threatened to slit his throat infront of her sister and nephew (a grown adult not a child). Obviously her sister is distressed and now no longer wants to care for her - completely understandable. My parents deny anything happened and think she's being unreasonable.
Myself and my 2 brothers now feel the time has come to get help to stop the violence and protect my father. He doesn't see a problem and is protecting her.
My question is, if I now raise this with her consultant/nurse what will happen? Will she be whisked off into a unit to be assessed, or will someone pay a visit and assess my fathers safety? Will we loose control over what happens next?
This will be going behind my parents back but she is in complete denial and my father doesn't like going against her wishes.
We fear for his safety and I guess we're scared taking what feels like a huge step into the unknown where things will change beyond our control and our parents may never forgive us.
At a loss as to what to do for the best and what to expect. Please help!