Think mother has dementia but no contact with ?

[maud876]

My mother is 92, lives in accomodation with a warden, meals provided.
She has been increasingly 'forgetful' for several years and it is now impossible to hold a coherent conversation with her by phone. She doesn't remember anything, repeats herself constantly and asks the same question over and over.
My sister, only sibling, and brother in law live near her so see her regularly. She seems to be totally under their influence and while I appreciate that they do a lot for her I can't see any reason why cutting me, my children and their children out of her life is in her best interests. My mother has actually forgotten that she has any great grandchildren on my side of the family.
My father died 7 years ago.
My sister refuses to speak to me, answer letters or emails, and has done so for the last 5 years. I have no idea why and have tried so many times to reconcile with her. The
only contact with my b in law has been an abusive phone call 2 years ago saying, among many other things, that all I wanted to do was get my hands on my mother's
money.
I am not concerned about her money only her health but repeated requests to s and b in law for infomation get no response.
Recently heard from a solicitor that my mother has apllied for a Lasting Power of Attorney giving s and b in law as attorneys. Don't think my mother has the mental capacity to do this but decided not to appeal as it would involve my mother and they would probably say horrible things to her about me, thus further alienating me. Plus more important I really don't want to cause her any distress.
I have been told to ask social services to look into it but that would horrify and mortify my mother.
I worry constantly about my mother who I can never get to see.
Before all this happened we all got on very well as a family and had no disagreements. I have never asked for, or received any money from either of my parents since I was a student in the 1970s and don't want any

Visiting her is difficlt as my health is poor and we are caring for a disabked grandson with special needs. When we, or my adult children, try to visit we are inevitably put off by s and b in law who iften cancel visits at the last minute.

Sorry for the scrappy message. My tablet freezes and won't scroll down and if I try it often loses everything.
Just really need someone to talkto about this. My husband is like 'Well if you do this then this will happen. Problem solved and no need for further discussion.
Thinking maybe I need to wait until my mother gets so bad she definitely doesn't know what is going on and then contact social services.
As an example of my s and b in l behaviour 2 years ago my mother broke her leg. We had gone away for christmas and I had spoken to her before we left and send card, letter and presents.
On christmas eve my oldest daughter received a text from b in law saying my mother was in hospital, they had texted me 4 days before but as I hadn't replied decided I wasn't interested. The phone they sent the text to was one I hadn't used for 7 years and had never had any contact with them on it. They had my husband's number which he uses constantly.
Anyway enough. Rant over. Thank you everyone for reading this

Hi Maud this sounds very difficult. It is obvioulsy very hard to know what your sis and b-i-l's motivation is from the post but their behaviour must be hurtful.
Could you just go and see your mother and try and have a conversation with her, just be around her? She has reached a great age and obvioulsy is not going to be around forever. That would also give you some idea of what her capacity is.
If you do have concerns about your sister and her suitability to handle your mum's finances you can report them to the Office fo the Public Guardian, who handle POA matters.
Lastly, I have to say that supporting an elderly parent with dementia can be extremely demanding and stressful, and maybe that is where some of your sister's behaviour is coming from?