FIL and driving

[KitbitAgain]

FIL is in early stages of dementia but has always had a temper and been very stubborn. BIL has noticed that he seems to be hallucinating, and is worried that it may affect his driving. Driving is huge for FIL, he goes to rallys, has a classic car, and really values his independence especially since he has a disability that makes walking difficult.

He is also very wily and has pulled the wool over the doctor's eyes on other problems he's had in the past.

He is a terrible driver anyway, but this obviously makes it worse.

I know if we tell the doc he will bluff his way through and lie to keep his license. I also know if he loses his license it will destroy his spirit.

I'm worried for him, for MIL (he's always been hard to live with), and for others if he's not safe on the road. Ultimately safety is the priority obviously.

Anyone had similar? What if he lies to keep his license and he really shouldn't be on the road? How can we supprt him, as he's really going to need us but probably won't let us help?

Has he been diagnosed with dementia by the doctor? I had this problem with my DF a number of years ago - I was worried that he would get confused when driving and possibly injure somebody else so we took his car and driving licence away - he was confused for a time but got used to it. What worried me was that would insurance pay out if he has been diagnosed already but you haven't informed them? It is a difficult situation to be in. I think you can only go with your gut instinct and if you think it is quite likely that he could have a serious accident then you may have to inform the insurance company and DVLA. I do find it astonishing that you have to inform the DVLA yourself if you become incapable of driving because obviously people with dementia are often unaware of their own problems. I hope you find a way to make this work.

Thanks bilbo, yes I think he has been diagnosed as 'mild dementia' but he is keeping it close to his chest. His perogative of course, but it does make it hard to help.

I think we might have to step in but it's going to be so hard, for him especially. Not to mention poor MIL who only gets a break when he goes out.

The hallucinations are really worrying and he's getting quite aggressive and forgetful. Not a safe combination sadly :(

Does he go to a memory clinic? If so, does someone go with him? The one mum went to did the tests with her while they talked to me so I was able to be very honest with them about her issues