Almost at crisis point please help

[MegGriffin]

Dad has Alzheimers and lives at home with mum. He also is severly sight impared. Mum is his carer and things are deteriorating very quickly. He takes various drugs including anti psychotics as he is becoming verbally agressive both at home with mum and out and about at the shops. He thinks mum is an imposter and not his wife even though they have been married 55 years. Tonight we went over as mum was so upset by his behaviour. He had his coat on and was saying its not his house and she was not his wife etc... I think he should be in residential care, mum thinks hes not bad enough. How bad does someone have to be? She has no life now and its a thankless task as well. Dont know what to do.

We faced this decision with my mum about 3 weeks ago. It was very hard but she has gone into a nursing home. My dad is now able to sleep properly at night and eat a meal uninterrupted for the first time in months. It sounds like you need an assessment from social services who will be able to advise on the options available to you and what is most suitable.

Thank you for answering. How do we get an assessment? Is it through the social worker. We haven't had contact yet although the Dr at memory clinic said one would be in touch...

Thank you for answering. How do we get an assessment? Is it through the social worker. We haven't had contact yet although the Dr at memory clinic said one would be in touch...

I contacted social services at our local council. They assigned a case manager and she visited to do an assessment. My mum deteriorated very suddenly so we have an emergency respite placement which was arranged in days. It will almost certainly become permanent as mum is in 'end stage'. We found that the memory clinic were next to useless, I wouldn't rely on them to do anything but that may just have been bad luck in our area. SocServ were brilliant, organised emergency carers to come in twice a day to help (as mum had specific needs that we were struggling to meet).

Thank you. I will contact social services tomorrow assuming mum agrees. Sorry to hear you have been suffering too.