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Dad in hospital waiting for care assessment - long- what next?

2 replies

BreakingDad77 · 12/08/2014 12:48

Dad (now 75) was pretty withdrawn socially anyway, and post mums death a couple years ago he doesn't say much in general, but appears to understand. He had become a hoarder after previously being very frugal. He started doing odd things like not flushing the toilet and collecting rainwater which I found out was that he had misread a bill which had a negative which meant he actually had £1000 of credit with the water company, but he still didn't believe me, my brother wasn't supportive and just seemed to let dad do whatever (have general feud with brother after staying with us he became an arse and left a load of mess in the house when he moved out and turned into a war of words where he called DW a Cu$t)

We had to take him to police to surrender his licence last year as he had been bumping people and then just driving home, including neighbors wall (who they were friends with, keeps saying put him in home). when we asked him he would say no he hadn't and would say he didn't know who my DW was but when we took him to police he confessed. Woudn't wear his hearing aid, would say his hearing getting better.

Recently it has come to our knowledge that he has been going around with his wheelbarrow at night pinching wood from waste piles in peoples houses. When I ask him about this he just look at me and doesn't say anything but brother claims he did tell him he took it. He makes it into town to pay his council tax and had made trips to a town some distance away. We have continually asked him wether he wishes to have meals on wheels, someone in to clean which he has refused. I tried to get someone from social services to come around and visit last year, but dad said "some gobby women tried to come in"

Week before he had come to his neighbours we believe because he had forgot his key but neighbour (broken wall) said he was trying to get in his house and called police and ambulance came, dad taken away to hospital looking a bit dishevelled as usual ( he has constant hot water and clean clothes but just wears same ones till they threadbare). Social services turned up quickly and were making moves to section him, and had spoke to my brother and said best to put him away and don't visit just call which sounds horrific, (but now he uses it to validate his claim about power tripping dykes destroying families, another reason why I feud with him)

I turned up and brother relayed this to me, another guy from social services turned up late in evening spoke to us and felt that the sectioning would be over zealous as dad did answer some of his questions, was able to give his name and address. He was really good and told us about financial implications (we dont have lasting power of attorney, I had warned brother that we should have sorted this out last year but he didn't agree, and I think we have missed the boat on this? He has own house, which assume will have to be sold, a bit of savings but at about the threshold)

He is still in the general hospital, he has moved ward once, consultant says his brain is bit more shrunk than it should be but is physically fine, he does though need some social intervention. In the ward he keeps getting up picking up his stuff and try to wander off, was found in basement once already. Keeps saying when are we going home, I showed him pic of DW and DS on phone and he said their names correctly.

He has had a medical assessment by hospital and now. I try to get him to write stuff on pad but he just writes his address. Most questions are answered yes no, and if I ask him what i said he doesn't say anything.

We are told next step is the care assessment by social services but this seems to be dragging on. In the mean time have tried to de hoard the house a bit but last time I did this he just brought all the junk back into the house again!

Anyone else been in this sort of situation?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 12/08/2014 20:13

That sounds really tough, but in terms of accessing appropriate care for your dad, he's in the best place as SS are much faster when someone is in hospital.

What do you think would be the best outcome for your dad? It doesn't sound like he'd let carers in at home, which will be a huge issue in terms of ensuring his well being

BreakingDad77 · 13/08/2014 12:11

Thanks CMOT, I think he needs to go into accommodation of some sort but I know brother will fight this idea vehemently.

He possibly would accept meals if they were brought to him, in the past he would refuse to eat out, e.g going to pub he would have nothing, go out smoke his pipe while we had lunch, and as mentioned above refused meals on wheels, but in hospital he wolfs the food down as if it were his last meal.I think he will just start doing silly stuff again, part of me wonders if he realises he can get away with things without punishment.

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