Do boys get to an age when they want to be with dad more?

[maltesers]

My son of 9yrs goes to his Dads most weekends from sat a.m. to sunday teatime. The Exs girlfriend has a son the same age so they play together . He comes back anti me and likes it there more. Dad has horses, puppies, HD large screen TVs massive garden, 4 wheel drive. etc. I have non of this so life here is me and my partner and the weekly grind of school and homework. I feel i give him the love , patience and understanding that his dad doesnt, and know he loves me. However, it makes me sad when he often says he doesnt want to be here, he wants to be there, when he returns on a sunday night. A few years ago he never said this and we split up when he was nearly 6yrs.
Do boys prefer to be with dad as they get older??

I have a 9yr old DS and I am married and living with my DH. My DH is not interested in children, I have two older DDs and he was the same with them. My DDs were not in the least bothered that he took no interest in them, and thought he was there to earn money. I have noticed a very different reaction from DS he is obsessed with trying to get his DDs attention and talks about him constantly. I have spoken to my DS and he says he is going to be a man so he needs to know what that means. So I do think there is a special attachment. But I don't think that means your DS prefers his DD. It seems unfair that you only get the daily grind and your X gets all the fun.

IMO there are two different things going on here.

Yes, a boy benefits from seeing his dad do man things (provided he's not a drunk, or violent, or dishonest or something).

But liking posessions and horses and dogs and expensive cars and weekends away from homework is something different. No doubt if your lifestyle was posher than his dad's he'd want to be wherever was more comfortable.

Hi Maltesers. I don't have any experience of this but it sounds like a difficult situation for you to be in.

Could you ask your DS if there is anything he would like to do with you that fits in with your lifestyle i.e. not porche racing!!

My DS is only 3 so I am not at your stage yet. However, I have heard many people say that what kids often want is your time- if your EX is getting DS most weekends then maybe DS is missing out on some non-school/homework days with you.

You know he loves you which is a great thing. Also it is good that he is secure enough to admit to you that he really enjoys spending time with his Dad.

Maybe the good old saying 'this too shall pass' is appropriate here. There will probably come a time when the favour swings back round in your direction and if the lines of communication remain open, he knows you love him whatever and are interested in his 'interests' (not suggesting that you are not by the way) then this will be an easy transition.

Thankyou for your kind and helpful words everyone. .
I do try to do special things with him on the half term break and the frequent Sundays or the odd Saturday he is with me when his dad cant have him. Plus i get all the school hols with him so do have leisure time with him too.
We are going to France and Italy for 3 weeks solid in July /August so i hope this will be quality fun time.

Thankyou for your kind and helpful words everyone. .
I do try to do special things with him on the half term break and the frequent Sundays or the odd Saturday he is with me when his dad cant have him. Plus i get all the school hols with him so do have leisure time with him too.
We are going to France and Italy for 3 weeks solid in July /August so i hope this will be quality fun time.

Not that I know, but he might find that if he spent 3 weeks solid with his dad, they might get a bit fed up with each other

Grass is always greener etc.