I feel stupid, can any men tell me if this is OK?

[Floight]

Ok, I had a thread the other day about a married bloke I fancy. I see him every day and we are good friends, but I am a bit wobbly about him and I needed advice about handling the situation.

There were two schools of thought: One was to avoid him, completely try to forget him and basiclaly get away from it because it can only lead to hurt and trouble.

The other was not to avoid, but to carry on being friends while strenuously resisting any urge to say anything about my feelings or act on them, which obviously is still difficult, but the upshot is supposed to be I grow out of the crush and we end up genuine friends without the pain.

I am trying this because frankly I have few friends and he is nice, and funny, and I know I am strong enough not to cross the line in any way.

However I am worried in case he already suspects I feel strongly about him. He may not, or it might be very obvious - I can't tell. And I feel stupid, because thinking he might have guessed would make me look like a daft eejit following him around, while if he has no clue, it would just be normal friendship stuff iyswim.

My question is two parted. Firstly, is he likely to have sussed me? Is this something men do? Or not?
and secondly, if he has, then is it OK to carry on as friends, without saying anything, or should I back off because I'm an annoyance or something.

He still seems very keen to be friendly and we hang about together as we always did. Does this mean he is OK with it?
I am confused and could use a male perspective, thankyou!

Oh Shiney hello how lovely to see you.
thanks for asking...it's been a bit difficult today. We went to the party despite my almost bottling it, due to 'the dream'...it was fine, spoke to both, both were lovely.

The thing I have realised is that basically, I have an excess of hormones that are doing nothing. There is nothing to use them for. Therefore, they build up and kind of seek the nearest target, and for a while it has happened to be him, unfortunately.

It doesn't have to be him, it's just like searching all the time for a suitable lightning conductor to defuse the energy iyswim.

That's what I am having so much trouble with. Maybe a random shag with a stranger would solve it but somehow I think that's not a great idea. (not that fancying a married bloke IS)

So having not intellectualised the whole thing I kind of know the problem, but not the answer. I will see him briefly later as he is bringing something of ours back, but after that not till after the holiday.

I need to make a plan! But in the interim I now know what I am dealing with and that does help.

tis like walking around with a pet swarm of bees, looking for a tree.

nah, not mad you just the 'orn !!!

LOL

he was here just now, standing in my hall, talking to me for about 10 minutes and I kept telling myself 'this is your HORMONES'

and he went and I did not grab him or anything unseemly.

That's a start I suppose...

Okay, who was it. Someone up there is playing tricks on me, now.

Was having a normal day, messed about all morning at home and then walked very slowly and erratically into town, to try and spend ds1's birthday money.
We went in the dept store and down the lift. As soon as we get to the toys, I hear a voice saying hello and it is HIM, with his child, doing exactly the same as us!

I think I went bright red. We were stuck in that shop for about 20 minutes and then yet another dad from school turned up, and I suddenly felt really sick and faint and had to get out - so I went and paid and then grabbed the kids and left without saying goodbye, really.

I was OK once we got out. But seriously - I can't seem to get away from him. This often happens - the last several holidays we have ended up at the same playground, at random times, as well. It is as though I have followed him but I never have.

How weird. Even as we left the house, I saw the thing I was supposed to be giving his child (couldn't find it yesterday) and thought 'Oh, better take that with us!' but of course I didn't as I didn't think we'd see them.

others would call that 'coincidence'...you are obsessing woman!!!

You need another addiction...I was recently very surprised to discover how very absorbing teenage vampire love stories can be

Books? Films? A box set of a series you haven't watched?

Fill up those waking hours (around basic childcare and hygiene of course...), I beg of you

...and failing that, don't leave the house

...scrub that. I see he was in your hallway...

LOL

thankyou, you are very funny

I feel safer here somehow, though...

he can't even climb in now.