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Original poster

Are there any more SAHDs here ?

29 replies

beardydad · 11/06/2009 21:20

I am, kind of!
Dinner is (normally) ready when DW gets home and I clean and wash up but never never iron.
Any other unshaven men around ?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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DaddyJ · 11/06/2009 23:29

Not yet but dw's job is more secure than mine
so I could well be one this time next year!

How are you finding it?

alltrue · 12/06/2009 11:34

I'm a soon to be one ... redundancy initiated butit would probably have ended up that way regardless

Original poster
beardydad · 12/06/2009 13:20

When my wife was pg (see? See how quickly I've picked up the secret MN codes for things?) we had a discussion and it was decided that as I earnt half of what she did I'd stay at home with DD. I work part time on the days she doesn't, and we have one full day together. DD is now 3.5 and it's going very well. Days have preschool mornings, we tiddle about most afternoons, all is good.
Obviously there are a few underlying issues, such as just who wears the trousers in this house, but I do realise I am a very very lucky man to be able to do this. Things might well change once school starts, but for the time being I'm happy and do feel I'm doing a good job.

OP posts:
OhBling · 12/06/2009 14:44

DH might become a SAHD when we have children - if he's in the kind of work he does now, then very likely. Am interested in your experiences as he definitely has mixed feelings about it.

BaddyJ · 12/06/2009 15:06

Sounds like a nice balance, good for you!

Maninadirndl · 25/06/2009 23:25

I've been one for 3 years and you are right to be shitting yourselves. It is fecking hard.

I dived in Arabian Gulf oilfields years back but this is harder.

An ample supply of beer under controlled consumption should see you through.

You need a wife to control the consumption though.

ABetaDad · 25/06/2009 23:44

Yes - have been for about 4 years but have a 9 and 7 year old and am WAHD too now.

DW has been here with me most of that time but is going to leave me all alone quite soon and the house will be mine ..ALL MINE..DO YOU HEAR...ALL MINE!!!

Maninadirndl · 26/06/2009 00:14

Utility Room? Does that constitute the beer supply?

May I politely ask what's in there? My cellar for example has a dark King Ludwig wheat beer.

Are supposed to doff caps now that Jacko has died? (does so)

ABetaDad · 26/06/2009 07:09

DW has always guarded the washing machine and dryer as the last bastion of her femininity. Two new Miele machines are coming soon though and they are definitely bloke toys.

No beer - but plenty of wine in the cellar.

Original poster
beardydad · 26/06/2009 09:55

We've got a 15 year old Hotpoint washing machine. When that bastard dies of course it'll be my fault.
The garage shed and spare room are all mine anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
beardydad · 09/07/2009 22:11

Do I win a prize for posting in the quietest corner of Mumsnet? Can't just be me here can it.
Can it?

OP posts:
PadDad · 12/07/2009 01:08

It can get pretty quiet here in Dadsnet corner. But you are not the only one on here with a beard.

I hate the acronym SAHD, but it is the most common usage.

Original poster
beardydad · 13/07/2009 11:19

/high fives PadDad and tickles his beard a bit in a manly way
Are we allowed a feeling of slight smugness, as I'm pretty sure they'll never be a 'Oh my DH is being a cock' thread about us? And fight the urge to comment on any bra/weight/sex topics as it might just lead to a Manhating Flaming.
Hooray for us!

OP posts:
Maninadirndl · 17/07/2009 14:13

It is a bit quiet here isnt it?

Any idea of how many of us sahDers there are on this site? I used to be a member of an American site for it but they were entirely US centric. I think there will be a growth of us in the next few years owing to the recession. It's not easy and it can get lonely.

As an experienced arse wiper I can advise on all aspects.

sillydad · 17/07/2009 22:32

I took a year off when DS was 4 months old to look after him. He is now 3.5 and I am having far too much fun to go back to work.

I also hate the acromyn SAHD, all I see is the SAD bit and miss the H. Anyway I try and spend as much time out of the house as possible.

What would you prefer to be called ??

Maninadirndl · 17/07/2009 22:34

May as well ad "Git" to the end. As in sad Git.

at least that's the way I feel.

jemmm · 22/07/2009 19:24

Another one here - my DW and I both post on here under the same account - but it's mostly me - we'er usually in the special needs sections as have three children DS of 4.5, m/f twins of 2.1 - one of whom has autism. Hence the posting together on S/N.

We split child care roughly 70:30 I'd guess - it's very complicated work wise and really fecking hard work switching between the two.

That said, I agree with whoever said above that they felt lucky to be doing this - well I do most of the time. Today has been a good day - we must have blown twenty quids worth of ELC paint in the back garden.

I do cook, I don't wash/iron - nor would I be allowed to if I offered.

The only thing I find really difficult is the whole toddler group thing - although to be fair, as much as everyone tends to be really nice - the whole meeting up later things tends to pass me by.

This may well be be nothing to do with me being a man.

Agree on alcohol - opening time get's earlier and earlier in this house...

morethanjustadad · 29/07/2009 16:34

Another one here...

I'm a mix of sahd and wahd, currently school holidays and it's a nightmare!

DW and I STILL not (after 4 years) worked out a 'suitable" share.... take care and don't do as I have done and get sucked into doing TOOOO many things for the kids.... PTA, School Board, After School Club, Football Coach etc...

Much more difficult than a 9 to 5.

And yes, it is quiet around this corner at times.

Brad79 · 31/07/2009 20:45

I'm not a SAHD but I am a single father with two DS (2 and 4).

I must say hats off to all you SAHD as its hard work. I get a break from the boys when I go to work and I am fortunate that I enjoy my job.

I must say that I iron things as I go and get everything ready the night before.

Little and often is the way I do things. lol.

WoundUpLeaf · 06/08/2009 09:26

Hello all, first post here (although DW is thoroughly addicted...). Not sure I count as a SAHD, but:

We split SAH duties with our 11 month old, DW works Mon-Weds in a 'proper' job and I do day rate consultancy stuff on Thurs/Friday and whenever else I can fit in (we've swapped around this week as I had a client meeting on Monday). GPs normally help out one day a week but they're currently climbing in the Cuillins.

Whilst it is hard work, I must admit to loving it - DD and I get to wander around the countryside and go to the park / playgrounds and we normally get dinner on for when SWMBO comes home (she can't cook but makes up for it in other areas ). I see so many of my mates who work full time and support FT SAHMs that haven't built a relationship with their kids

Only trouble is, I've given up the beer for the last year to try and lose some weight (not working).

Original poster
beardydad · 06/08/2009 10:05

Hi WoundUp. It is satisfying isn't it?
As long as you've got clearly defined roles, e.g I am the Rubbish Master in this house, working the way you do is really good.
Are you really tempted to add to any "Is my DH being an idiot" threads? I know I am...

OP posts:
WoundUpLeaf · 06/08/2009 10:46

Absolutely! Just not sure that I could cope with the wrath of the entire site as they rally round DW, especially as she'll deny everything within 10 minutes of the post going up.

thomsc · 08/08/2009 11:07

SAHD here too. Have been for almost 3 years now, and DS2 is now 7 months, so it looks like I will be for a while yet.

I was working freelance for the first 2 years but i simply can't find the time (or energy) now.

MrMayoNessie · 04/09/2009 22:00

Another here.
Had DS2 in Oct last year and wife got (proper) job in March this year so I now look after the our two boys.
6 months on, I can honestly say its bloody hard work, but love it so much, seem to have got into the groove and do get most things done, washing and ironing done every other day, don't clean everywhere everyday but through the week everything gets done. Dinner ready for DW getting home, love to try cooking something new every so often. Me and the boys have fun everyday and they have things to do everyday, daily shop (tesco staff know us!!), library, free nurserys, parks etc.

BeckLaxton · 05/11/2009 17:46

So, all you SAHDs who don't like toddler groups, can you you tell me if there's any way to improve things? I'm female, and run a postnatal group (bad name? excludes fathers?) and a toddler music group. The occasional father does come along and I try to say hello, invite them to the coffee sessions afterwards, all that, just the same as I would to a new mother. Do you want more attention? Less attention? Or just not to be the only man in the room? (To be honest, I find rooms full of just women very disconcerting myself.)

(Btw I'm specially interested because I've just started working for the Fatherhood Institute, which advises professionals on ways to make men feel more welcome - but that's more for children's services and midwives.)