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Your thoughts please fellas.

9 replies

cupcake78 · 28/03/2009 11:57

I have a male friend who, well to be blunt I lost it with after too much drink and a bad day. Sent him texts that were, well tbh pretty out of order with probabley very little grounding. I made a real fool of myself and was far from pleasant. At the time he just said he wasn't going to talk and would speak to me later (prob a good move).

So following morning tail between my legs appologised etc. He said its fine, don't worry about it. Now he's doing the whole space thing. Feel like he's avoiding me. Don't want to be seem mental but hate the way it is at the moment. Do I leave it and wait for him to come to me, which could take months at this rate or do I do the whole lets talk thing. Is it really possible that he's just forgotten about it all .

He's a natural avoider! He will avoid anything till it is no longer avoidable.

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cupcake78 · 28/03/2009 12:01

Oh this is the send time its happened in about 8 months - we've known each other for over 16yrs and he's never seen me lose my temper until now

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cupcake78 · 28/03/2009 12:02

Thats "2nd time" not "send time"

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LEMAGAIN · 28/03/2009 12:33

sorry, woman here, but it depends what he did, it depends on your relationship. Sadly, i think when someone is telling you they need space, what they are saying is feck off, i dont want you around. For whatever reason - im afraid you ARE going to have to back off and leave him to come to you. I know i would be driven INSANE by this because i like to have "closure" on arguments but hey. Going to have to suck it up.

LEM wonders how many more cliches she can get into one post/.

GreatDadinTraining · 28/03/2009 17:24

Sorry need more details to offer sensible advice.
In general terms though, if he's a natural avoider, he's probably in his "cave". Respect the cave, and wait until he comes out!
Good luck
GDIT

bruxeur · 28/03/2009 17:45

I think you really need to chase this one. Ignore the "space" thing, that's just a cry for help and communication.

What you should do is text him several times a day - late night is best! - until he realises, within himself, that what he really needs is a good long talk about this and anything else you think he might be bottling up or "avoiding".

Bear in mind that he may take some time to realise that you are right - ignore any silly, joking comments like "please stop calling me" or "I am going to involve the police if this continues". Only a sustained, committed, crazy-ass dedicated campaign will get through to him.

nk65alot · 28/03/2009 18:06

Are you saying that it was you cupcake78 whom acted badly? If so it is not surprising he went off in a huff. As it has only been twice in 16 years that doesn't seem like a deal breaker to me. Forget all this "talk" and "space" stuff, that is just what girls think is needed. Apologise again if needed, be nice and suggest a way to make up - meal out, card, gift or whatever works in your relationship with him simple as that.

Drusilla · 28/03/2009 18:10

lol @ bruxeur

PadDad · 28/03/2009 22:55

bruxeur is so right!

Don't take 'go!' for an answer . . .

cupcake78 · 29/03/2009 07:22

bruxeur, lol!! I think I get your point .

I shall refrain from stalking and just get over it!

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