How do men make new friends if they don't follow football/rugby?!

[chelseamorning]

My partner is 42 and works very long hours for a company where there is very little social life. People don't seem to meet up after work, not even for a quick drink. He confided in me last night that he's feeling socially isolated and that, apart from spending the weekends with me and our DS, his life is pretty much focused on work. He doesn't have any close friends nearby as they all live either miles away or abroad.

He must feel very bored with life and so I'd like to suggest something that he could do on his own but am not sure what!

He's not outgoing - but not shy either - and not what you'd call a 'man's man'. However he is warm, generous, has a great SOH and is very people-orientated.

He's not into football/rugby or watching sports. He also doesn't like to join 'clubs' either which is a bit limiting. He likes mountain biking, live music and comedy etc. He used to play table tennis, squash and fencing but has had to give them up because of some joint problems.

Does anyone please have any suggestions as to how he can meet some new people?

I have a theroy that men don't make new freinds after the age of 21.

My DH has made friends with parters of my freinds. How about some dinner parties/BBQ/Sunday Lunches?

Thanks for your replies. I'll mention them to DP this weekend to see if any take his fancy.

I don' think you're wrong, CrazyHorse. I think research shows that it becomes harder to make friends the older you get. If you live in the same area most of your life it isn't a problem. However a lot of people these days (including my DP and I) have lived in lots of different places and so each time you move you have to start making friends all over again.

Its tough to be honest. A lot of new friends I've made have been either through my work or through my wife. As LynetteScave mentions, dinner etc can be a good way to introduce your fella to your friends.

we're in a similar situation. i am starting to make friends through the 'mum network', and there are a few things, like quiz night at the school, that dh will come along to. as i have just become a sahm, with our latest move, we've discussed what my 'job' is, and part of it is to get to know the area & people, then get the social ball rolling. it's hard if you don't have a naturla 'in'. once it starts, a social life is fairly easy.
have you got firends who visit for weekends from previous places? that gives you safety in numbers to go to the local pubs, restaurants etc and see where you feel comfortable. shat activities do your dcs do? could he take/collect them sometimes & meet other parents there?

and, just to give him a break, could he take a day off & the two of you do something together, if the dcs are at school? might just be nice for him to have a grown up day out

You said he has a GSHO and likes comedy.

Doing a course on standup comedy was tremendous fun, and resulted in many hilarious nights in the pub with people all going through the same fear-generated experience.

Did a showcase at the end of the course, to which friends and family came. Then did some gigs - terrifying yet energising. Some of my fellow standups from the course are now on tv, because they pursued it as a career. I only really wanted the experience as I'm content with my life as it's currently arranged.

Book him on a course (6 weekends?) and facilitate his time needed to do it.

Thanks for all your replies!

We'll look into the dinner/lunch option. I'm veggie but my DP and DS eat fish and no meat so we'll have to see which of our friends is most likely to go veggie for a Sunday lunch!

Our DS is only 2, Kickassangel, so we're a bit restricted.

PadDad, good for you for having the balls to do standup! DP wouldn't do something like that but it's a really interesting suggestion and will make me think more broadly about some activities.

Thanks again!

Very common I think.
Combination of moving, busy jobs, difficult to take time out because of kids etc.
I suspect that many of your mates DH's feel the same. Agree that joint socialising worth a crack.
Personally I'd get him to join a MTB club, even if he hates clubs. There again I love bikes so I would say that.
GDIT

My DH seems to have an endless supply of friends. Many of them are friends of friends of friends. He's very good at asking a friend of a friend to go for a drink. He also keeps up with school/university friends or rekindles the friendship. He never goes out with colleagues. I think he is pretty unusual. He's not gregarious either, more quietly extrovert Most of my friend's OH's are like the OPs.

Your DH is lucky, Castlesintheair. DP's close friends are mainly abroad which makes it very difficult to maintain a friendship beyond the odd phone call or email. It also 'takes two'. Living in lots of different places over the past few decades probably hasn't helped.

However there have been some good suggestions here so thanks!