Feeling lost without ex partner and son

[OliversDad]

We split a couple of months ago and because we just had eachother and our son when we split and i moved out i now have no social life.
She has total control over me still, i cant help it. One kiss and im won over and will do most things she asks just cant say no.
i really miss them both.

i know your arent supposed to sleep with your ex after splitting up but we have had sex about 3/4 times since splitting, i just cant say no to her and now she has a new shes said that that is it.
makes me sad to think that he will have a new dad, both her and her new guy want kids so my son will probably not get as much attention as he will not be his new daddys real son and mum will have a new baby to look after.
now i have no-one really to speak to and sit alone in my room nearly every night wondering what is going to happen to me and my little boy.

just wondered if there was anyone else that have been/are in the same situation.

I think there have been lots of people in your situation, MN is busier in the evenings so be patient they'll be along.

Have you sorted out regular contact with your son? Having him stay with you etc? How old is he?

We are tring to sort it out. Have been over a few times on my lunch break to see him. He wil be 1 just after Christmas.

Is there any reason why he can't spend part of the weekend with you?

Im not an innocent party here, i have done some unforgiveable things hence the split.
She is trying to look out for her son and do what is best for him. I can't have any unsupervised contact with him but since she has started talking to this new guy i feel like i am being fazed out to the point where i have to post money through the letterbox because she doesnt want to see me.
Transport is also problem at the moment. She lives 12 miles away.

Doesn't make me stop missing them though.

Can you arrange someone else to do the superising sometimes? Can you work towards having unsupervised contact. You need to have some communication channels with her and tell her that you want to be part of his life long term.

Are social services involved?

Social Services are fully behind her. I think it was SS who said that she shouldnt let me have any contact outside a contact centre so being able to see him those few times at lunch was a bonus.
She said i could have unsupervised contact with him once she completely trusts me but that wont happen because she didnt trust me when we were together.

I guess i just wanted someone to say that my son is gonna be ok even if she does have more kids with this other guy and not get left out.

Feeling lonely, miss those bedtime cuddles and sharing funny things and having a life rather than watching films night after night and sitting online talking about it.

Good mothers don't love their existing children less when they have more children, they really don't. So if she is a good and loving mother to your son now, that will not change at all once he has siblings. Siblings are lovely for children, and if they share a mother and live together, they will be his brothers and sisters just as if they shared both parents rather than just one. I don't know what you did when you were together, but it sounds as if she may have some reason to worry about her safety or that of your son, is that right? Or was this an infidelity issue? In either case if she is letting you have extra contact at lunchtimes, then that is a very good sign for you. YOu must be totally reliable now, clean up your act so that she can see you have changed, and just put aside any personal feelings about her to be the best father you can be. Ask her what your son needs in terms of shoes or clothes or toys. Try and establish a partnership. Is there something else you could do in the evenings? Could you even perhaps get a p/t job so you have more money to help support your son?

I wish it was that easy to just forget my feelings for her.

There isnt much to do in my small town especially in the evenings and i already work full time.

being a small town there isnt many jobs here that i could do in the evening part time. Have to travel almost an hour to work as it is.

Nobody said it was easy, but being a parent is hard in a million ways. That relationship has gone, so don't lose the one that you could have.

And if you don't have a child at home, you do have the freedom to go out in the evening. If you hate where you live, can't you move a little closer to where your ex lives?