Mans point of view wanted please

[starzzz]

Hiya

Ive posted this same convo in the mumsnet AIBU section, and have gotten womens opinions, now i would like the same from men, as im aware that there is a difference of opinion on this matter, so... please could i have a few mens opinions.

Basically, my husband drives fine most of the time, but if someone cuts him up, or cuts in front of him when there really is very little space, he gets all uptight and well arrogant over it... as if someone has done something personal to him. He will then drive right up their rear end, or hoot and give rude hand signals etc.

Ive been in a few accidents when i was younger, and this obvously does not help. When H drives up someones rear or gets agressive, i freak out, which causes an argument.

This is what happened on the motorway yesterday :- a guy in a BMW was driving irratically nearly causing accidents behind us, as he was using entire motorway as his own personal space. He then proceedes to cut in front of us in fast lane, so my H was right up there. Anyway, i asked nicely for him to back off from up the BMWs rear, to which H shouted at me not to tell him how to drive etc...and weve not really spoken since.

Am i being unreasonable in asking him to back off (im quite happy for him to drive like that when its just him in the car, if he so wishes) but not when myself and his son are in the car as well!

What is a mans opinion on the situation.. am i overacting??

Thanks

You don't need a man's opinion - your husband drives like a tosser. Tell him to stop it.

I am a man, btw.

I used to do that but eventually grew out of it (and yes DW did bang on about it, and yes that just made me angrier).

Of course we grow up at different ages (if at all).

I found when I stopped doing that I enjoyed the driving more and found I could laugh at people that did it (it often happened when I crossed the Cambs/Essex border into Essex, go figure).

Keep on at him and ask him if he enjoys doing it.

Dh says he assumes a) the other driver must have a small penis or b) the brains of an amoeba, one day to be spilled across the carriageway.

He then takes smug comfort in his superior driving skills and just how laid back and cool he is.

....you are quite right to berate him.

Aggressive driving is (a) asinine and (b) fucking dangerous, both to your husband and to others....

He may consider himself "in control". I am sure all the dead people (and children) I have seen from motorway accidents caused by such driving would appreciate his skills.

No sense of humour on this subject, I am afraid...

Thanks for the replies... i though it was just women who thought like me, glad to hear its not though.

He is making the effort to drive "safer" now, and im making the effort to "trust" his driving ability... so far, so good!

Believe me RG...i have no sense of humour about this either... one day, as DIOM says, i hope he will grow out of it, or just get too old to care!!

Thanks

DadInsteadofMum I agree with the essex border bit. london and essex drivers appear to be more agressive in driving as that is the norm for drivers arond here it seems. Driving in and around london and essex for years, it was only when at uni, one of my mates from nottingham said about essex drivers. never noticed it myself, but then a job I had meant I drove from romford to durham 3 times a week for a 6 week period and it was incredible. I began to notice that as soon as I crossed the essex/herts border on the M25 coming home that the drivers became bonkers. I realised that I too as an essex driver did drive quite agressively and I thought this was because it was the only way to survive on the roads here. I never got too close but did 'chase' some people who I thought were arseholes for the way they cut me up or whatever. anyway, realised the error of my ways and I seriously calmed down when my son was born. trouble is now, when driving with me he says I am boring as 'mummy shouts at people'', ''mummy says naughty words'' to which he repeated several one day a few weeks ago after we were cut up. he also made a hand gesture which I am unsure of its meaning (hes 4 by the way!!)
so yes I agree, starzzz, your DH has a touch of lunacy about him, but maybe not a good idea to berate whilst driving as it often makes the actual driving worse, save that till after when its safer!!

Guy in a Beemer driving badly?

Nooooooo. Surely not.

All BMW drivers seem to drive like twats (I think the engine cuts out if you drive a reasonable distance from the car in front) It's still no reason for your partner to drive like a nob though.

Tell him from me to grow up. I'm bigger cleverer and better looking than he so he should jolly well listen.

apparently the twat car of choice now is the audi but there are always nostalgics around

Barcode (again) hits the spot. Dh is wishing for an excuse to get all irate at the world. Beemer drivers are too easy a target. Get him a willy-enhancer. He'll feel less the desire to drive like an arse-wipe, according to his own theory.

Worse then BWM drivers are the guys driving the new style mini (owned by bmw!!!)
They seem to think they have V10 engines in the chassis of the old mini cooper.

Idiots.

You need to 'train' your DH, a casual stroking of his inner thigh whilst driving nicely and withdrawing the 'massage' when driving bad may help. Nothing tooooo nice though, as that may cause him to drive even worse.

Interesting idea Miffy. D'you think a hand job would speed him up or slow him down?

Perhaps she could use it like a fleshy joystick to control speed and direction of travel.

Yes, unless he actually crashes you should let him drive in peace. If you have a dig at him it will interfere with his driving.

Button it.

Heated.
BZ *2
DW gets my gander up more than other ppl, do this, do that etc etc
But imo drive safely and more to the point , defensively.
So imo, a twonk for aggravating the situation. btw I saw a battle between a white van driver and a P plate driver not so long ago. Van driver on verge to get close enough to push the P plate into the other lanes. Personally i caused a traffic jam to keep out of a possible situation. It aint worth the agro!!!!!

Positive reinforcement is always better than negative comment. My wonderful DW sometimes actually compliments me on my driving . That gives me a warm glow with the result that I try harder to stay calm, anticipate other cars, keep space and generally drive smoothly and safely. Maybe it is an age thing too but I do take more pride in my driving now.