Married to an abusive woman

[wrongthinker]

Hi, I wonder if anyone has any advice or experiences to share that might help? My friend's dad (68) is married to an abusive woman. She has been emotionally, financially, and physically abusing him and lately it has been escalating. Last weekend she called the police and accused him of abusing her because he made a joke about her false teeth. The other morning she woke him up by pouring water on him and calling him a fuckwit. My friend has been speaking with him a lot and trying to support him but they live 3 hours apart so it's not easy. She can't text him, because the wife takes his phone and reads all his messages, so they can only talk on the phone when he calls her.

He has always worked with kids and young people so he's seen abuse but it's hard for him to admit it's happening to him. He wants to end the marriage but his wife is telling him he won't get anything from a house sale. She has been financially abusing him for a number of years. He's retired (68), she's still working (57-ish). As far as I understand, he put in most of the deposit for the house and pays most of the bills. He has also been paying several hundred a month for her false teeth.

Just posting for advice, really. Thanks for any help you can offer.

He wants to end the marriage but his wife is telling him he won't get anything from a house sale.

If he is on the deeds of the house then that's plainly incorrect. He's 68, young enough to get in touch with a solicitor and start proceedings.

I don’t have too much advice (definitely would seek legal advice if I were him - he would be entitled to his “share” however that is worked out - kids etc) but I would ask MN to move this to relationships, as Dadsnet is possibly not the right board? You might get more traffic there. Good luck.

Thanks. I actually posted in relationships a couple of days ago and someone commented to say post it over here instead! I think maybe there just isn't anything more to say/do than what's already happening.

It’s nice of him to pay for her teeth. Her teeth seem fairly central to this narrative, don’t they.
Does she wear a wig? Or have hair extensions?
Acrylic nails?
Contact lenses?
A glass eye?

could you give us a clear picture of all the important things, here.

thx.

What the hell? If you haven't got anything helpful to say, why are you commenting?

He needs independent legal advice and not listen to what she says. She's only got her own interests at heart.

Of course he will get his half. Are there any exceptional circumstances which would mean otherwise?

She can't text him, because the wife takes his phone and reads all his messages, so they can only talk on the phone when he calls her.

Is his phone not password protected?

He doesn't know how to change the password. My friend's going to sort that out for him.

Not as far as I know. But I know she made him change his will so the house would go totally to her and no share for his kids. She's just totally messed with his head, I think.

He can arrange to update his will at the same time as he gets legal advice. It's really all within his control.