Struggling with my three-year-old's constant meltdowns on Father's Day

[Munkle555]

I am typing this and don’t know why. I need advise, I need to get out I don’t know. I am sitting alone on fathers day crying to myself, my wife had to work and my 3 year old doesn’t want anything to do with me and is spending time with my sister because every single thing has been an argument today everything. Anytime she doesn’t get an answer she likes it’s a meltdown and I am at breaking point. It’s all the time the constant battles and I don’t know what to do.

Sorry to hear this
Is it usual for your partner to be at work on a sunday
Do you normally have her solo while partner is at work? Your 3yo doesnt know or understand father's day so I'd forget that as anything relevant

go on YouTube and do some breath work now to calm yourself. Then get everything prepped for when you both come back. While prepping listen to an audiobook - there’s no such thing as naughty - this will really help you take it less personally. Threenagers are hard!

Three year-olds and meltdowns go hand in hand, so that’s somewhat normal.
If you give up every time she has a strop, of course she isn’t going to want you.
Children need to know when they have bursts of emotions, their safe person (a parent) can handle it and help them through it.
She’s 3, she’ll have those big feelings of frustration that she can’t communicate about yet so needs help calming down/rationalising.

Get a grip of yourself.
It’s Father’s Day and you’ve handed the little person that made you a father to your sister while your wife is at work.

So the women are handling work and the kids, what are you doing?

A 3 year old shouldn’t get a choice in ‘wanting to have anything to do with’ anyone. Does she always kick off when her mum is out of her line of sight?
You and your partner will need to work on teaching her good behaviour and control. She can’t have her own way or kick off.

Three year old can be a nightmare. Distraction and busyness are the answer. Lots of positive energy and a trip to the park or to swimming or whatever you like, eith lots of games. (And maybe an ice cream)

An argument only works if both people participate, you are the adult so you are the one who sets the boundaries. If she doesn’t like an answer then you can gently explain to her that, whilst you understand she is frustrated, that is the only answer available and that you won’t be talking about it anymore. If she screams and shouts, acknowledge that she is upset and tell her that when she has calmed down a bit that you’d love to do x, y, z with her. Then get busy, move around, take the focus off her and just keep an eye out while you do other things. When she is calmer, notice and acknowledge it eg. ‘It looks like you’re feeling a bit calmer now, shall we…?’. If she starts arguing again then tell her that you can see she needs a bit more time, remind her that the answer won’t change but that when she is calmer then you are excited to do an activity with her.

It’s not easy negotiating with a toddler but having boundaries and knowing what to expect makes children feel safe and secure so it’s worth putting the time in.
As for Father’s Day, why not try again next week and have a fun time together? Appreciation can be shown on any day, it doesn’t have to be on a day card manufacturers say.

Agree with all the above but also keep an eye on food levels. Hungry toddlers are the worst. Also does she still nap? Might need a rest.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I think we all vary in our tolerance of children crying. I try to look at it from a positive point of view: the screaming is a constructive part of discouraging bad behaviour, while I try to keep calm and be caring.

There are some very sweet moments if you push through and get to the other side of the meltdown, when they calm down and accept an alternative activity, letting go of what they were upset about. I'm surprised/relieved about how quickly affection returns after some big meltdowns.