School is not informing me about my child's progress

[LifeOnAmber]

Recently split up with partner. They have moved over 2 hours away. Ds has started new primary school. Ex wouldn't even tell me name of school. I heard it in passing and old school informed me as well.

I emailed them twice to tell them I have PR. All the government responsiblities. But no reply. I called up too.. Receptionist was being dismissive. Like as if there was a red flag as soon as I mentioned my son's name. She got defensive and like sorry can't talk to you. I followed up with an email requesting involvement.

No response.

Do they not have an obligation?
Has my ex told them I'm abusive, etc?
Can she restrict me from bring involved or informed?
Do I have to walk into the school or summit?

Before they moved out, I did email the new school saying I have pr and I don't consent to the new school. I've read both with pr have to consent. (wasn't sure if ex had lied). But still no reply.

Have you provided them with the documents to show you have PR? They can’t just take your word for it.

Why did your ex feel the need to move so far away and keep the name of the kids school from you?

Anyone could pretend to be that child's father though. You need to prove you are by showing your ID and their birth certificate (I assume). Have you asked the school what you need to do?

Why don't you consent to the new school btw? Your child needs to be in one.

The school will share information with the parents whose details were on the school application form, and with a parent who subsequently applies with evidence of parental responsibility, ie a copy of child's birth certificate, showing your name.
You have to prove it, they can't just release information to someone who phones up.

Are there any court orders in place relating to your child? Why would you try to block your child going to that school, given that the mum is clearly primary carer?

The oddest thing is that the OP has previously posted as a woman and referred to her husband, yet here the OP appears to be a man talking about splitting from a woman. So strange.

Well, you supply proof that you are the child's parent and have shared care of them. Of course the school won't supply information to any one that asks. Do you do school drop off or pick up? Surely you would know the teacher from that?! And if you try the excuse 'it's too far away, it's too hard' then no cigar. Surely you can make the effort for your child rather than expecting others to 'update' you. Be involved and see for yourself.

You need to take this to court and probably would be better off appointing a solicitor since you've let it go on so long that you'll need a very strong case for the court to change things now.

I’ve learned this evening that there are lots of men posting on mums net.

OP your child lives two hours away, so I’m assuming you don’t know the town well? Why would you object to a child going to school?

it sounds like you have been heavy handed with the school and regardless what your child’s other parent has said, you are showing yourself to be controlling.

Step back - what do you want from the school? Because parents don’t get progress updates, they have parents evening for that. If you are demanding information from them that they don’t normally give. Are you just exercising some kind of rights? surely the child or the other parent tell you how they are getting on? Or do you not see them.

Provide the school with the evidence, a birth certificate or court order. Let them know you’d just like to be kept up to date with school communications or the opportunity to participate in parents evening.

but be prepared that if you have abused the other parent in some way and there is an order against you, it doesn’t matter who you are.

It’s not the fact that the OP is a man that is bothering me. It’s that on another post he claims to be a woman/mother. It’s creates the impression of a rather dishonest poster.

Where in the OP does it say they are a man? Could be a woman in a same sex relationship. Dadsnet would be the most logical place to post in that situation.

Or; the other post with husband, the husband was clearly in the wrong - so maybe they posted it from the wife’s pov so they got a more balanced response.

Posters often change details so that they’re not identified irl. Don’t take it personally.

Why would being in a same sex relationship mean it would make more sense for the OP to post in Dadsnet? A lesbian is not a man nor a father.

I haven't but I'd expect them to reply asking for evidence. Will happily supply. And it's called real life. This is what happens. She's gone back to her mums.

Just out of principle. If I'm reading on the gov site parent should be notified. Then I expect them to let me know. I'm not sure if the school ask about parents.

@LifeOnAmber which version of your life story is true and which is a lie? This one or your previous thread?

I'm confused. It is an ex husband or an ex wife?

I don’t know if OP even knows. They’re seem very confused.

What on earth are you on about?

On principal you want your child to have no school because your ex has moved back to her family for support?

OP this is you right?

LifeOnAmber · 21/09/2025 17:44
I need some advice.
Earlier today we were at a retail park. I was in the shop whilst my husband stayed in the car as the 15 month old was asleep and the 4 year old didn't wanna go in.
I forgot to take my purse. So he brought it into the shop whilst the kids were in the car.
Our car was directly outside the shop. Well not immediate but the second row. But it was in the eye line.
My husband popped in, handed over and went back. It took less than a minute.

You say you're the child's father so I take it this is a same sex relationship?

Goodness, given that post of 20.42, it’s difficult to fathom why you’re an ex. Or why she moved so far away. Is this how you speak to the reception staff?

In a thread from December 2024 OP describes themselves as “ a new parent“ so I wonder how they now have a school age child.

edited for clarity

With an attitude like that, it's no wonder you are getting nowhere with the school.

Mine was lazily worded, sorry: Being a lesbian wouldn’t mean it makes more sense posting in dadsnet - this specific, non resident parent, situation means it makes more sense posting in dadsnet. Eg more dads are going to encounter what OP is describing than mums.

I see what you mean x

OP has confirmed he’s a man now

What information do you want? You can do a SAR if you have PR.