Wife irritating me (Christmas)

[WeeG123]

Does anyone else’s wife/other half seem to have any sense of practicality/common sense knocked out of them during the Christmas season? Every year my wife goes well over the top with everything - decorations, presents, Christmas activities with the kids… the lot!

We have two boys aged 2 and 7 months. We’ve went to visit Santa already but my wife feels like we need to visit a new garden centre to see a different Santa every weekend during this period! Our spare bedroom is absolutely filled with toys/presents for our boys aswell as friend’s kids. She wanted a new tree this year and I said I didn’t feel we needed one. Our money is tight since she is on maternity leave so it was money we didn’t need to spend. Her face twisted when I said this and she stomped around like a petulant child. In the end, I footed the bill for the damn tree to keep her happy.

My wife was in hospital last week getting her gallbladder removed so our 2 year old was at nursery today all day and our 7 month old was being looked after by my cousin all day to give her time to rest. I got home from work to face every decoration pulled out, the new tree delivered and every dish/plate she used piled high in the sink. The washing basket is also overflowing. After feeding and bathing the kids, I put them down to bed. She then asks tells me we’re putting the decorations up. I ask her what got into her head to pull this all out on a Thursday night when I’m absolutely shattered after work after a 6am start today (I got both boys up, ready, fed and dropped off at nursery/my cousins house aswell as getting myself ready for work.) She then turns round and says that I’m a Scrooge and ruining Christmas etc. She’s complaining she’s still in pain after her op but she’s the one who pulled the decorations out when I was at work and is raging that I can’t be bothered helping as I’ve had a long day. Now, I’m not implying for one minute she should do all the housework when I’m working, infact, most nights I do the dishes and washings but it angered me she didn’t prioritize these things first but decided to piss around with Christmas decorations and add to the already established chaos in the house.

i feel as though everything she does for Christmas is to keep up with her friends or to post on Instagram - it’s all superficial shite that I can’t be bothered with. Of course I’d take my kid to see Santa, have a day out doing a Christmas activity. But does it really need to be every weekend? Sorry for the rant, just need to air how I’m feeling! There’s probably no advice

I don't have any great advice but I feel your pain. The only thing I can suggest is to put up with it this year then, after Christmas, when things are quieter, find time to have a conversation with her, tell her you appreciate how important Christmas is to her, but it was just too much when you're knackered from work. Next year, if she's the same, tell her calmly there's certain things you won't be doing.

I would feel the same way as you op but some people just seem to lose their reason at this time of the year. It can be hard to be the sensible one, or the 'boring' one, but if money is tight this level of spending is unsustainable so you are going to have to put your foot down and say enough. I will say though that ime people who carry on like this are often unhappy and trying to fill a void with 'stuff', so try to speak to her sympathetically, even while you stick to your guns.

I think this year is probably a lost cause but I think during the year need to have a discussion in around July about Christmas budget, trips to Santa and timings. Be clear about boundaries eg one trip to Santa, no new tree as got one last year.

I love Christmas, but that is just ridiculous. I had pre-warned my husband of the date I was going to do decorations for about a month. You can’t just expect someone to come home from work and be at that. There is enough going on in your house at the minute. I def would be having a chat.

I remember it being a bit quiet and dull on maternity leave. She is probably craving some excitement. But you're working and you are craving a bit of peace and relaxation.

So you are both in legitimate but opposing places.

Maybe suggest she goes out for a Christmas night out with her mates on Friday and you can put your feet up. You can both tackle the mess when you're more rested at the weekend.