Seperated - questions regarding our daughter & DLA

[CrookeSpire]

New user here
Looking for some help as feel everything is so heavy at the moment

Seperated from my partner last summer, together 10 years, not married.

We have a 9 year old daughter

Daughter is with me 3 nights a week & 5 nights every 3rd week. Due to ex partner shift rotation.

Daughter has been diagnosed with adhd / autism - receives mobility benefit & DLA - ex partner receives all this

Ex partner renting nearby

Ex partner receives DLA for daughter but won't share it with me for our daughter, I've explained countless times it is for our Daughters benefit, but she just spends it on whatever she wants and will not share it as daughter spends equal time with each of us each month (sometimes actually more with me)

She changed our Daughters doctors without consulting me which was silly as one thing children with SEN needs need, are routine and consistency.

My daughter has a very active lifestyle when with me, days out, holidays, activities etc, but when with mum - does not do much at all. Although I will say is happy

I don't know what steps I need to take or where to turn. So some guidance would be so welcoming.

Thanks.
Happy to answer any questions

Also no idea why there is a poll on biscuits at the bottom - new to this forum

Are you not the primary carer if you have 11 nights out of 21? You could put in a claim for child benefit.

As well as nights they look at Drs and dental records so perhaps move your DD back to the previous practice.

What extra costs do you incur due to her disability though? That is what the DLA is to cover.

I have her 3 nights per week but every 3rd week I have her 5 nights due to ex partners shift rotation
As for doctors (the new one) that is address down as ex partner address but both our telephone numbers. Same as dentists.

As for what the DLA is spent on (roughly £550 every 4 weeks or so) I've no idea. She doesn't need anything specific at all

What does she say she's spending it on? And what specific things do you need it to cover for your daughter? Is she missing out on anything important at her mum's?

Nope. Nothing specific, same as me. She doesn't require anything specific for her needs.
I pay for after school club each month as well as paying for her brownies etc.

I don't need it, that to me isn't the point, I'd throw it in her savings account, it is the principal behind the fact she is with both us equally per month (technically a little more with me)

So I believe it should be shared. But of course the DLA department won't split payments.

She doesn't need a mobility car, or special equipment.