Baby Carriers / Slings

[Flashman]

Hi - Just wondering where other chaps stand on the issue of the babycarriers (slings and things like that) We are due our first in 55 days (not that I am counting!!), and I was chatting to some mates on the subject of slings and carriers and the general view is that men that do wear them look "Pussy whipped" is how it was explained. For my sins I tend to see that point of view more so than any others. I mentioned it today at work and most of the females tend to think grow up - but the men tended to agree, but none of them have children either.

On trips out the house with both of us and our baby daughter, my husband use to dash to get her out of the car first as he wanted to carry her/sling her. !!!

Flashman, welcome to MN and well done for this very relevant thread

Of course, that wise man Pan and your mates are spot on:
There is a strong whiff of (hippie) pussy-whipped about men who carry their babies in a sling in public.
Particularly in combination with sandals.

AfaIk the sling trend has emerged from the Attachment Parenting movement.
and as much as I find some of the AP beliefs difficult to stomach,
the sling concept is pretty damn fucking good.

So good that I would ignore the stigma and just enjoy the fact that

• your lo (little one) will be getting lots of body contact which is something that virtually all babies love
• your lo will be further comforted by the movement as you walk around doing whatever your doing

(essentially, the sling recreates some of the conditions the baby was used to inside the womb, hence the soothing effect)

• you will have your hands free to get on with other things
• you will have a nifty alternative to pushing a big pram around (which is also not exactly John Wayne)

And, Flashman, I will tell you the precise moment you too will embrace the sling as a genius tool:
When you realise that without any kind of conscious effort your baby has peacefully gone to sleep..bliss, mate, bliss!!!

I suspect at some point soon we'll have no 2 on our hands so the various links posted here will come in very handy.
Thanks to everyone contributing!

Put it this way, you look a lot cooler with a sling than you do pushing a pram.

(Fabulous nickname, btw - assume baby will be called Havvy)

Jeez, give the poor guy a break!
Personally I don't think anything about a man wearing a sling, I don't even really notice, but I can imagine why they might feel a bit at first.
Flashman, get a sling, a black one or something, wear it around the house to help your partner get a few minutes break, if you feel comfortable, wear it outside, if not, don't.

For God's sake Po face - where did I ask about should men carry a baby? It was just a view on carriers in general. And as for the comment "pussy whipped" this was a comment between close friends - I am afriad that in my experience when male friends are together the comments are a bit more "Sweary" shall we say, than in normal company. And I have no idea why you commented you were not shall we say "my target audience"

And bean this has nothing with how I view father hood - So by that arguement I can become a wonderful dad just by wearing a sling - if that is it I can't see how people have told me that fatherhood is hard - I now have the secret!

And Daddy J - thanks for your comments - I imagine that once Pinky is born that I will see that they are a fab idea. I must confess that I had not considered how useful it will be to have your hands, and the main one is it does not slow you down - my only worry is lets just say I am a little clumsy - and would imagine walking a little one into a door or such things!!

Yeah, that's true, at first you walk really slowly for fear of bumping into anything
but you'll be surprised how quickly you'll get used to the 'bump' (or the backpack).

54 days to go..

You are surely doing a very 'odd' and unmanly thing by joining dadsnet which is a very small part of mumsnet which it seems, is a huge band of women. You will look fab with your baby strapped to your chest. Just fab!

You may also find yourself asking the band of women which is mumsnet for lots of advice, especially in the first little while...we will I'm quite certain be very happy to share our views and experiences with you.
We can give you views etc on a huge number of things, like why doesn't my wife want sex anymore/at the moment?
My wife has painful nipples, how can I help her/she stop this from happening?
We wont bat an eyelid, nor will you
Good luck!

Hmm two points - I was surprised that Dadsnet really is just mums. And then really have got annoyed because I put a question for a male view - I even said in the first post that I already knew the female view in general. Oh and as for the unmanly thing - I won't tell them - in fact when my friend noticed yesterday that I had been logged into my pc for sometime (damn multi windows and forgetting I was logged into facebook) and I told him I had been hunting for porn!!

Flashman - good question, and there are some ways of carrying that look too earth mama for lots of men but there are plenty that don't too.

My DP carried DD in a Kari-Me from 4 days old and couldn't get enough of it. It wasn't just that he was head over heels in love with the little scrap from the moment he clapped eyes on her, although that helped of course, but it made him feel properly useful (his words, not mine) during the early days when she spent most of the rest of her time attached to my boob. Valuable skin to skin contact can be with daddy as well as mummy.

And when we'd had a shite day, with lots of screaming while he'd been at work, it meant he could go straight out for a sling walk with her which gave me a break, got him out of the washing up and cooking and sent her straight to sleep. Win win win situation.

Oh, and the hands free thing meant he could catch up on phone calls, read the paper, and yes, go to the pub at the same time as giving little'un just what she wanted - only for a half of course, but considering what most of the prophets of doom tell you about losing your social life, I'd say that's a major plus for all slingage.

Go on - sling that kid!

LOL!!!@searching for porn! Bet he doesn't believe you though!
Dadsnet isn't just mums! there are quite a few men on there and they do join in on the mummies threads too. This place is a fab place for support and help and you'll be glad you are a part of it I'm sure. You can ask almost anything and get a wide and varied ' voice' in answer. The mums and dads on here are fabulous!

Flashman, do you see the 'active conversation' link at the top of the screen?
If you click on that you'll get the list of the last 50/100 threads that have been posted on.
Most people just refresh that screen and comment on anything they fancy.

Word of warning: this place is more addictive than porn. Fact.

I am very grateful for the posting - I did not realise there were so many types of slings ect.

Flashman - was trying to put my DPs views forward for you, but he ain't a member of mumsnet so it had to come through me! In fact, I only posted here cos I know he feels so strongly that carrying was one of the best bits of new fatherhood and he wants to encourage others to try it.

I know what he thinks cos he wrote about it for a local parents mag. Maybe he's not a good example, cos he stands up in front of people for living (not saying any more - cover may be blown) therefore has few inhibitions and may not be as bothered as other blokes about what he looks like when carrying. But I did check with him before buying slings re: if he would feel a nob wearing any of them (and I did deliberately avoid the more feminine-looking fabrics - or got reversible ones) just to make sure he was cool with them.

I think slings look very cool on men!

Much less fussy than a pram.

My dh finds a lot of women make eye contact when he's wearing te baby bjorn

I can see that they just comment on anything - but I would have thought that some would at least read the thread first. I was so surprised at some of the venom directed - for not liking slings - I have been questioned if I will make a good father and being childish. I notice that my silly little worry is childish and yet some of the worries that females have posted on other threads which I think for gods sake pull yourself together - is given serious consideration - and notice on those I do not just butt in! Po face I am talking to you!

And yes it is addictive!!

Mij - no thank you for sharing your message - I am sure that once Pinky is here my view will totally change - however I am now concerned about this, think of more people trying to make eye contact and maybe talking to you. I hate talking or having to engage with people I don't know - and yes I can see that it is ironic posting that on a web site to strangers - however I don't have to meet any of you in the flesh - just words on a screen!

Flashman, don't ya just love the smell of vitriol in the morning..?

It's your concern, you're entitled to it and you're also entitled to express it without having your head kicked in about it. But this is mumsnet and despite all the brilliant support and info you can get, there will always be someone lurking around with too much time on their hands who's just dying to enlighten you with their opinion, but who probably wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life.

See what you feel comfortable with when you LO arrives. You might be surprised - things you never thought you'd do might work for you, things you expected to enjoy you might ditch.

My very macho Dp is very hands on which not only surprises everyone he knows, but it also surprises him.

Think we x-posted there.

I can see if you don't like engaging with strangers you may want to keep under the radar, but tbh there will always be someone who wants to coo over any new baby, whatever they're in, and to flip the sling experience over a bit, as your sleeping newborn is so much nearer your gob than in a pram, you have the perfect reason to use the 'oh, he/she has just dropped off, nice to talk to you but I'll have to keep going' line and leg it.

But, you'll know what you want to do when you get to that point. Congrats anyway, parenthood is fun, really it is.

It's pofaced actually... have just looked at this thread again and find it extraordinary that in 2008 anyone about to become a father thinks it preferable/ more acceptable to tell a colleague that he is looking at porn on line in office hours rather than baby equipment... Good luck with fatherhood...

It's very disconcerting - kept seeing references to Pinky- so came over. Relieved- I thought I'd upset somebody (again).

Slings are just a practicality. Prams only really became popular because of Queen Victoria, I think, she used one and they became fashionable.

My FIL was a very keen mountain climber, and recalls that in the 1930's - 60's many alpine men carried babies in slings in the mountains and they were hard as nails. Being strong doesn't mean you can't be sensitive, too.

Pofaced - and yeah shocking! How do men like me breed right?

And you don't actually read the thread do you? I never said it was a work collegue, it was not in office time, I said it was yesterday I did not imply a time - the porn comment was made totally tongue in cheek. My actual comment was to ask was he my mum keeping check on me? I think you just project your own narrow mindness into this conversation without actually adding anything to it!

And Poface did your mother never teach you in you don't have anything nice to say don't say anythink at all??

Oh sorry that is what I refer to the unborn as - Pinky with his / her mother being the Brain!

Yeah, pofaced by name..
I see a lot of guys round here using slings with no shame, but even I don't like to use my sling in Liverpool (where I'm from). Too much pointing and staring...
Slings much better than buggies imo.

I'm suprised you get that in Liverpool- different story here in Manchester.

Flash- don't worry some people get really bossy on here. I'd just have a look around for something you'd be comfortable in and try it. You'll prolly not care what people might think once you're holding your baby!If not, there's always ebay and no harm done.