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My husband is extremely upset because I stopped breastfeeding without informing him

9 replies

Newmind · 13/06/2025 20:11

So we have 2 children. The first 1 i couldn't breastfeeding because she was in neonatal until for 9 dqysb after she was born. Our 2nd baby i breastfed for about 4 months, but she always had formula feed after because she was not getting enough milk from me. So my husband went away when the baby was about 8 weeks old because his mother was not well. I understood and supported him as I should. I stayed home with the kids 1 at school and baby at home, no support from anyone for over 2 months i managed alone. Once I couldn't manage breastfeeding and bottle feeding plus sorting my 1st child out i stopped breastfeeding without telling before hand.while he was still away. He was upset about it. and 2 plus years still brings it up and makes seems like I did such a horrific thing. Same as when I asked him to wash dishes more than 10 yrs after his mum first visited us. I came from night shift cleaned,did the shopping and cooked and also picked up and dropped off our guest. After all that I was tired and cranky so I asked him to do dishes maybe in not the nicest way but to this day he still brings it up. Another recent my sister did said awful thing about him which was not true. I told her so we haven't spoken in nearly 4 yrs. He was angry about it, i asked lets solve but no he didn't want to. But for 4 yrs we can't have a chat or argument him bringing it up and all this time I felt ashamed and guilty for something I had nothing to do with and that I condemned. Now we are getting divorced and those are the things that he brings everytime I want talk to him about moving forward work things out during our separation. Bear in mind I financially supported our family for more 5 yrs alone, did everything in the home. Am I really that bad? Sorry for the rant , please share your opinions i can't talk to anyone about this

OP posts:
FatBottomGirlz · 13/06/2025 20:16

just ignore him.

  • You are the mother, so you know what’s best for your body and child
  • He wasn’t even there to support you, so 100% your decision
  • divorce - his decision is no longer relevant and you can ignore his wining about the past

best of luck 💪

Meadowfinch · 13/06/2025 20:20

How is you choosing when to stop breast feeding, any of his business? What a relief you are divorcing him. The man is an ignorant controlling fool who bears grudges. You must be very relieved to be free.

But from now on, his hang ups are not your problem. His views are irrelevant and you don't have to listen to his stupid resentment any more.

You have done nothing wrong and can now raise your children to be kind, rational and free from bigotry.

Communicate through your solicitor, that is what they are there for.

Good luck.

HarryVanderspeigle · 13/06/2025 21:06

Any time he wants to pick up the breastfeeding, he can go right ahead. Until that point, your body your choice.

thatsawhopperthatlemon · 13/06/2025 21:09

Now we are getting divorced

Good.

pizzaHeart · 13/06/2025 21:11

Looks like he is trying really really hard to make you a bad guy and still failing. With these sort of arguments he is making himself the joke of the year.

dogcatkitten · 13/06/2025 21:14

Just get on with the divorce all the rest is meaningless, probably not to you, but in terms of the divorce let the solicitors sort it out.

Rapunzle · 13/06/2025 21:17

Well done for having the strength & resilience to divorce him OP!! And don’t let his horrible gaslighting /blaming & irrational obsession with random sleights that were never that deep or warranted such grudge bearing. You will thrive without him!! Stay strong you sound fab without him & deserve far better.

Monstersfromtheid · 13/06/2025 21:18

That man can really bear a grudge! You're well shot of him.
If he won't discuss separation details sensibly, don't bother trying. Just contact only through solicitors.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 13/06/2025 21:26

You don't need to listen to a single word that he emits. He's incapable of discussing the divorce, so just leave it to progress and get a parenting app for any communication with him.
Enjoy life free of the pointless whiner.

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