Hi
I would like everyone's advice on something. My darling daughter, whom I love without exception has secretly married her partner, they told us over a lunch.
I am happy for them, I think her partners great, we knew they were getting married and a date has been booked for a long time for later in the year. It wasn't a run to Gretna Green or a sudden decision registry office affair, ( I could have accepted that more) it was a planned lavish affair in a hotel under a gazebo, wedding dresses (not the one my wife and I paid for) a photographer, cake, the full works, just no one attending. I am a little hurt that their wedding was conducted in secret, as we are a family that's always discussed things and to be honest my daughter has never been able to keep a secret anyway. but it's their choice and in time I can accept that, although I wish she had told me before hand. However my quandary is that after defending her actions to my wife and son and supporting the decision, my daughter still wants me to walk her down the aisle and give her away, make a speech, the usual wedding day 'dad' stuff at the venue previously booked. I find I'm struggling to do that. It's not her wedding day, it's meaningless. In my mind it's just a party. When I raised my concerns my daughter was upset that I felt that way and we planned to talk about it at a later date, when emotions were not so high to find a way forward. However what has me concerned is her partner's reaction, I got a message via social media that basically said these are your feelings, don't bother us with them and think carefully about what you do or say in the future.
I could do with some advise, I am very confused.