Apologies if this isn't the right place to post this. Looking for a male/dad perspective please..
I (26F) gave birth 11 weeks ago to our son. My husband (31M) is great and has been pretty supportive esp those first few weeks which were incredibly difficult for me postpartum.
he also works long shifts .. 10+ hours not including commuting.
Now our baby is pretty good but definitely has times where he cries inconsolably despite all needs being met. This is obviously very stressful. I can block it out but my husband has less tolerance and wears earmuffs when this happens, which is fair enough.
Now the difficulty is whenever he's not working and our LO cries like this, if he takes over (so I can shower for example) his method of soothing is to bounce the baby very vigorously or pat his back very hard. This doesn't work of course and makes me very stressed and the baby cry harder.
Without trying to sound critical of his methods even though I find it stressful to witness, I try to tell him ways I've found of soothing him (walking around and rocking gently etc) To which his response is, "I feel like a shit dad because I can't stop him crying" and then walks off, leaving me with a screaming baby.
I've tried discussing this with him but to be honest I just need some advice please.