male perspective please!

[treaclepudd]

Hi, just wondered how often you would or do phone your children if you were or are seperated from your partner. My ex [male]never phones them and only sees them every other weekend. The children are 7 and 2. Just wondered what other people do...is this the 'norm' thanks!

I think all men are different treacle, ds1's dad calls him every night on his way home from work, and has him to stay every Friday night. I was seeing someone a while ago who had children from a previous relationship, he saw them once a fortnight and rarely spoke to them in between times, but then he didn't seem all that fussed about seeing them either, partly because his ex made it so difficult for him.

Perhaps you could tell the older one that if he ever feels like he wants to call daddy you won't mind? That way he's secure knowing you will support his relationship with his daddy, and if daddy then doesn't bother he'll know you did all you could.

Thanks-I do tell my son he can call his dad when ever he wants [have done since ex left]. My ds says no [-it's like pushing water up a hill]. This is why Ive been asking my ex to call him-but he dosn't. oh well, guess everyone is different-just think if it were me I'd want to speak to them all the time!

tbh I rarely call dd, now aged 8. she is here quite often,treats it as 'home', and to phone her inbetween times would seem odd to her, I'm sure. I do call if there is a specific arrangement to confirm forthe w/end but just for a chat, no. She has A LOT more interseting things to do than chat to boring old dad, would be her take on it. She is here every other weekend, every Wednesday evening and often on the Monday eveening when I take her to a dance class.

I guess it depends alot on the quaity of rel. twix dad and the ex., as well as the children. AND with any 'new' partner. There is no partnerPan, so that makes no difference, But I'm pretty sure trhe dynamics would change if there was one.